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Dealbreakers

I'm a generally positive person and I don't like to focus on the negatives. Sometimes, though, it's frustrating. Some guys that contact me don't do themselves any favours with regards to their communication style. It's not always deliberate - often they just don't know how it should be done, or they aren't familiar with the booking process. So occasionally I receive text messages or emails that just don't meet my minimum standards, or that require a whole lot of extra work from me to make sure the sender isn't dodgy. When you're contacting a sex work profesional, coming across as a decent human being is very important. We are humans too and we are much more likely to give you a good service if your booking process is stress-free. The more difficult or stressful the initial conversation is, the less favourably we will feel towards you. That translates into tension, lack of connection and inevitably a less enjoyable experience when we if finally meet.Here's a short list of the most common things you can do to make a good impression, and avoid those all-important dealbreakers. Let's not cut the fun short before it's even begun!Write in whole sentences, whether your message is via text...

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Strength and Sexual Domination

What do weightlifting, self-defence and sexual domination have in common? Here's the obvious answer: I enjoy all of them! And there's a good reason for this...I have been a gym junkie for six years. My interest began when I needed to vent some frustration during a particularly difficult time in my life. I began to run on the treadmill and then later, to lift heavy weights. From there, I progressed to gymnastics and olympic weightlifting. I worked for three years as an amateur, practicing alone in the gym or under the eye of a personal trainer. Three more years were spent studying and practicing for a career in fitness.  There's something satisfying about having a physical outlet for my emotions: I trained my body to recognise a pounding heart and shaking muscles as signs of hard work rather than distress. As my strength and confidence grew, I gained a good sense of my physical body and its capabilities (down to the last kilogram of weight lifted). This is called 'prioperception': the sense of the relative position of one's own parts of the body, and of the strength of effort being employed in movement.I think that women general aren't encouraged to develop a sense of their own...

toyburuboy

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – All 3 in All of Us Somewhere

A different kind of blog this time, one of self-reflection and well it has been a while since the last one (Dec 2016). I know I am still the only male to have posted a blog on Scarlet Blue but I am glad to see not the only one to be posting the ‘client’ viewpoint out there on the internet of things. I bow to one prolific writer (SP) who has indeed taken to blogging with such gusto but sadly in some cases criticism by both other clients and sex workers. The idea of a blog is to enable a space where someone can write creatively and hopefully provide insight into a topic that may not be widely spoken about. It sometimes hits the mark and sometimes may fall a little short of the writer’s or reader’s expectations. But certainly not ever is it something that the writer should be harassed for. So again to the clients out there, have a think about writing from your perspective. To the critics of bloggers, all fair to have a say about the blog but be nice and give constructive criticism. I normally have received favourable comments to the blogs I have had published here, though this one may push the envelope.So why the title? No it not a spaghetti western featuring Clint Eastwood or even th...

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What's it Like Doing Sex Work?

I had a 'lightbulb moment' this week while I was talking with some friends about our reasons for doing sex work.The answers we gave for our choices were all so different! Both our ways of working and the values that shaped them were as varied as the personalities at that table. It sounded as though we were actually running many different types of businesses. I had always assumed that the way I work is  somehow fundamentally similar to the way everyone else does - the sex industry is fairly homogeneous  Certainly, some of the practical considerations we discussed were similar: money, safety, legalities. But when it comes down to the actual 'doing' there was much more individuality than I expected.The escort who sees married businessmen may work completely differently to the one who sees disabled people. The guy who enacts a glamorous persona in his sessions will feel different to the lady who uses sex work to explore some of her own kinks - and this difference in approach will fundamentally change the way the worker interacts with his or her clients. When I do the job, it feels theraputic. My background is in counselling and customer service, so I look for the psychologica...

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Travel Adventures

Five days ago I was packing my bags to go on holiday to Japan. I knew I'd need to finish this blog before I left but somehow it just didn't happen...so I thought that perhaps I'd write it while I was sitting on the plane. That didn't happen either (the in-flight wine selection was too appealing). Now I'm in my hotel room in Tokyo, technically on holidays! But I've been thinking all the while about what you might like to read about while I'm away.I have an unusual approach to tourism: wherever I go, I seem to end up having crazy adventures. If you've ever met me you'll know that I'm polite, quiet and enjoy my own company. How then, do I end up in such risque situations every time I'm overseas? Let me give you a few examples: I took a short holiday to Thailand two years ago. I wasn't looking for any trouble; I just wanted to lie on the beach for a week. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) my plans of a quiet week were interrupted by an incredibly hot Spanish couple who decided to claim the deck chairs next to me. I caught the lady's eye and from that point on we spent most of our time naked in their hotel room, ordering room service and giving each other three-way back massages in...

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Sexual Gymnastics are Optional

I was chatting with a new client via email today and he made a confession. "I'm not in the best shape, and I haven't had sex in years. So please don't be disappointed if I have trouble keeping up."Did you know that for regular folk, intercourse lasts for an average of four minutes? That's four minutes of all-out sexual activity (I'm assuming there's a good deal of foreplay preceding it, otherwise the average person's sex life is dismal indeed.) My point is that we're not designed to run a sexual marathon, and indeed there are very few people out there who would have had the chance to practice at anything more demanding. When guys feel worried that they won't be able to perform for more than a few minutes at a time, they're describing the norm, not admitting to failure.If you're really dedicated, there are things you can do to improve your sexual stamina: among other things, be twenty-two years old, take Viagra, or work out really fucking hard. But I feel like all that effort might be missing the point...When I go into bookings with a new client, most of our time is spent connecting with them as a person. The next biggest chunk of time is dedicated to getting physically comfortable...

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My Obsession

I feel like I've been obsessed with sex for pretty much my entire adult life.If I'm not having sex, I'm thinking about it. If I'm not thinking about it, I'm writing about it. I consider myself a fairly well-adjusted person - I have tons of other interests and hobbies outside of my work. So why is sex so important to me? Is it just the human condition? As I sit down to write again today I can't help reflecting on the fact that I've been writing these blogs for almost three years and I STILL haven't run out of ways to talk about 'getting it on'.When I was a kid I had some funny ideas. I thought that people only used one of their kidneys and kept the other in reserve in case the first one got worn out. I thought that being left-handed meant I only used the right side of my brain (which would have meant a lot of grey matter going to waste!) I also thought that people only had heterosexual intercourse once - when they wanted to make a baby - and the rest of the time they stuck to 'normal person' stuff like watching television and making sandwiches. You can imagine my surprise when I lost my virginity and discovered that the act itself was much more enjoyable than I had imagined!Our sex-...

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Simply Asking

I used to love, in my youth, what I would call 'the art of the pull' and what gay guys call 'the art of cruising.' I had a favourite bar that I frequented. I would go there around nine or ten pm, have a couple of drinks, dance to a few good tunes. I'd find someone I thought looked sexy (or interesting, or amusing, or intriguing) and do my best to convince them that they really, really, wanted to go home with me. Then I'd spend all night with them, drop them back at the bar in the small hours of the morning and get a good nights' sleep.Being on the hunt was fun, whether it was for a man, or woman, or a couple (because that happened too.) Hell, we had a few group orgies that would even spill out of my car onto the pavement, or end up too big for my bed so that couples would be left to fend for themselves on the thick-pile rug or the couch. It was great training for a budding sex worker. I enjoyed working out who I was attracted to, and who was attracted to me.  A lot of non-verbal communication was involved: eye contact, body language, and some sort of sixth sense that I'm convinced is the basis of my knack for getting along with guys. Once I had them home, and had them naked, t...

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An Ongoing Love Affair

I've been putting off my blog writing until the last minute this month.Why? It feels uncomfortable to write at the moment. It feels fake - like I'm forcing myself to be cheerful. I don't feel cheerful right now - life has actually been pretty messed up for the past few months. There have been some big life changes, some failed business ventures (through no fault of my own) and even a move to a new home, which is always stressful but even more so under this particular set of circumstances. But this blog isn't the place to talk about any of that personal stuff. Sometimes I feel like I have to filter my life through a rosy lens in order to make it upbeat, palatable for my readers. Although authenticity is very important in this forum, at the end of the day the purpose of these articles is to attract more clients - and better-inform the clients I already have. It's a public service and a marketing project all rolled into one. I'd never want to abandon either of those goals.The odd thing is that although I'm struggling with motivation to write, I'm not sick of doing sex work. Returning to my work with full force this year has totally rekindled my enthusiasm. I've contacted clients I hav...

Melbourne escort

Doubles or Nothing

I love threesomes.I've always loved them: the fumbling episodes with my boyfriend and his best female friend when I was twenty-one. The hot older couple I picked up a club in Sydney. The gay guy who wanted to fuck my partner. The lesbians who invited me to their place for the weekend. I sort of feel like I've been having ménages a trois my entire adult life. I've always been open-minded and comfortable, and somehow it just seems to happen wherever I go. I'm a firm believer in threesomes, and I think everyone should try it at least once. It's one of those experiences you never forget. The problem for guys is that it's bloody difficult to make them happen sometimes; picking up one girl at a bar is hard enough, can you imagine picking two up at the same time? The fantasy of a two hot ladies hitting on you is fun but ultimately unrealistic, unless you happen to be on the set of a porn movie. More likely is the unexpected scenario - a drunken unplanned episode with friends, or your wife making out with her workmate at a New Years' Eve party (well, it happened to me!)Escorting is wonderful for making the threesome thing happen, assuming you have the funds and also the nerve. Being u...

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