Someone For Everyone
I watched some of the Arnold Classic last weekend and it was like being in another country…a country exclusively populated by huge guys and women in butt-hugging tights. The Arnold is a bodybuilding competition. The women’s figure model finals were on Saturday night – rows and rows of women with identical physiques who looked like they could crush most men to death using only their thighs.
After spending a while cohabiting both the ‘fitness’ scene and the escort scene, I’m beginning to realise that they have a lot in common. Both encourage positive characteristics in women: fitness helps women become stronger and healthier, while escorting gives us room to showcase our individual personalities. Unfortunately both these scenes also tend to push women towards being body-conscious. A single ‘ideal’ body type is promoted; whatever is considered most desirable. For fitness models it’s a rock-hard butt and abs. For escorts it’s being young, skinny and feminine.
Escorting is a very solitary career and we spend a lot of time alone, seeing other women only via their perfectly-prepared website photos. It’s easy to forget that these amazing creatures are actually real women with real bodies! Even when meeting other ladies in person, talk often turns to weight loss or critique of others’ appearances. We are always worried about being judged ‘not pretty enough’ or ‘not skinny enough’….an attitude that’s very much a part of Australian culture in general, particularly for women. The focus is more on physical appearance than on skills, personality or abilities. Body-shaming affects every woman - no matter how ‘hot’ someone else might think we are, there is always something we don’t like about ourselves.
Working as an escort has had a really positive effect on my body image. I’ve come to realise that guys are attracted to a huge variety of body types. While many people find the ‘ideal’ sexy, there are also a lot of people who look for other things. I once knew a guy in Sydney who only liked really big girls – size 18 and up. He would totally lose interest in a lady if her size dropped below 16. Some people look for women of certain ethnicities; some guys are only into ladies with short hair. Many older men seek out older women, as they feel more comfortable seeing escorts with their level of maturity.
Lots of men appreciate girls with big breasts, which is not the current standard of beauty –size-six models don’t tend to be top-heavy . And sex appeal isn’t confined to physical characteristics: some of my clients specifically seek out intelligent women for some verbal sparring! I have also met guys who find strength sexy, even up to the point of wanting to play-wrestle with me (sorry about the bruises, Mark).
My worst insecurity is also the body part I get complimented on most often. I am always going to have a curvy figure and I will ALWAYS have a butt – something that my playmates (both men and women) appreciate. It’s ironic that the very bits of me that don’t fit with popular culture are the bits that work the best for myself and my clients.
None of the above will stop me from doing my ab crunches of course! But I’m not in a hurry to change too much – I’d hate to lose the things that make me unique.