People are usually diligent when it comes to their financial investments. I think we should be paying as much attention to our emotional investments: the people we connect with.

It's weird - we spend so much of our time fretting over income and bank account balances. But when we go home at the end of the day, we take the things that really matter for granted: connecting with friends and family, furthering our hobbies, doing the stuff that inspires us.

Nobody says on their deathbed, 'I wish I'd worked more.' Rather, people say, 'I wish I'd taken that trip to Peru,' or, 'I wish I'd asked that girl out in high school.' This is why I often write that sex isn't trivial. Our emotional lives are a huge part of who we are - and there's nothing more emotional than being sexually intimate with another human being. Getting laid is not just about recreation, it's also a way to experience the world and the people in it.

People spend hours consulting with their accountants and financial advisers. But when it comes to sex, we often 'go for it' without thinking too much about what we're doing. I remember a client I once had, who wanted to make a booking but had very little idea of what he actually wanted. He was a nice guy who'd had several girlfriends. But he was confused when I asked what sort of experience he was hoping for. 

"Do we have to talk about this stuff?" he said. "Can't we just see what happens?"

I had to point out that, unless I knew what he liked, the success of the encounter would be left totally to chance. How would I know whether to bring a vibrator? How would I know if he enjoyed high heels? How would I know whether he wanted me to be gentle with him, or leap on him like a tiger onto a rack of lamb? Without the right info, there was every chance that the session wouldn't be right for him. In short, before we met he needed to work out what he actually wanted.

Emotions are important, and sexual experiences are important too. So why do we approach finding sexual partners as is if it's a lottery? 

You know what I mean, right? Instead of giving careful thought to the sort of people we want to be with, we sometimes rush out and go for the first person that takes our fancy. Even when we know someone isn't the best choice for us, we plunge ahead regardless. When sex goes well we feel good about ourselves, and when it goes badly, we feel ashamed - but we don't do very much to plan our interactions. We just 'let it happen.'

We often feel we're supposed to automatically know how to do sex. It's assumed to be instinct. The truth is, nobody is born knowing. We all have the same fumbly experiences and awkward moments. Things get even trickier when you're seeing an escort. It's quite a large financial investment - you want to ensure that your experience is great, whether you're spending five hundred dollars or five thousand. But the investment goes beyond the monetary. A good sexual experience has the potential to uplift you, while a bad one can make you feel terrible.

When the stakes - both financial and emotional - are so high, I always advise doing your homework.

Many of my clients conduct thorough research before booking. They will read an escort's profile, follow them on Twitter, draft and re-draft a contact email. and, most importantly, they will give careful thought to the kind of experience they really enjoy. It may be that they prefer a slow, sensual session. It may be that they want to be able to explore and be adventurous. It may be that there's a position or activity that they want to try but are nervous to mention. All these details (plus anything else that's important) are crucial to share with an escort, so that they can ensure you have the best possible session.

An escort date is a big investment - why not protect it? Do your due diligence ... ask yourself the important questions ... and tell us what you need, so that we can be better lovers for you. That's my advice.