Chucking a Sickie
I’ve been ill this month. I don’t usually like to make a big fuss when I’m sick – I prefer to take an Aspirin and get on with things. Unfortunately this time around it was something a bit more difficult, and it’s been a challenge getting well without going completely crazy.
As human beings, we like to feel that we’re in charge. We are continuously analysing and adapting. When things don’t go our way, we go to great lengths to reassure ourselves that we’re in control, even if that means taking the blame for situations that aren’t necessarily our own fault.
Every now and again, something comes along that brings us to a halt despite our best efforts. Sometimes it’s illness, sometimes it’s family or friends who require critical attention. Sometimes we aren’t even sure what has happened, but for a period of days or weeks or months we feel that nothing is going right. When I got sick, I had the best of intentions to get as much done as possible from the couch, or my bed, or wherever I needed to be to get better. Unfortunately this time around there was nothing I could do. No matter how much I wanted to get up and run around, I couldn’t get off the couch or even keep my eyes open for more than half an hour at a time.
My productivity has a huge effect on my self-esteem. When I can’t get on the computer to post on social media, or take new photos, or email my clients, I feel like I’m letting myself down. When I don’t have the opportunity to spend time with my clients I really miss the sense of wellbeing that comes from making others happy. Getting through the past few weeks has been hard. Often I’ve had to remind myself that it’s okay to drop everything and just exist for a while. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the fantastic sessions I had just before Christmas and reminding myself how fun it will be to be well enough to drink cocktails by the pool again!
I have had a whole lot of support during this time from other ladies in Melbourne, who took time out of their busy schedules to call and email and generally stay in touch. I also had a couple of clients who noticed my absence on social media and messaged me to make sure I was okay. Hearing from them made me feel really grateful to be part of a community whose members look out for each other; and it’s also gratifying to know that you’ve been missed.
The sex industry isn’t conventionally thought of as being a warm and caring place but in my experience we all do connect on a really important level, and we look after each other in so many ways. I can’t wait to get out and connect in the big ways again – fun, laughs, spankings, red wine and sexy times! I look forward to seeing all you fantastic people again soon.