The Escort I am today - The experiences that shape my journey
The sex industry is made up of so many different people. Different personalities, different backgrounds, different social situations. It is made up of people who choose to be a part of it, it’s made up of people who didn't choose to be in it, it’s made up of those who may not have many options.
I chose this industry 5+ years ago because it worked well, it fitted with my lifestyle at the time and even to this day. I have worked in a brothel, for an agency before finally deciding that working for my self was a more suitable option because it was easier to fit it around my other commitments. Over time my participation within the industry has changed. It started out quite casual, only seeing a few clients a week, not having much to do with other sex workers, trying to work things out alone. But as time progressed I started getting to know other workers, developing my advertising, becoming more aware of the issues surrounding the industry in relation to laws and trying to get rid of the stigma.
There are so many contradictions. There are those who feel that this industry needs to be gotten rid of, who thinks it’s a bad thing, that people within it are bad people who don't know what's best for them. But I take a look at myself. I am intelligent, have a job outside the industry, have friends who are supportive, and live a pretty uneventful life outside work. And I think to myself, I know what's best for me, I am not a bad person. This industry has introduced me to some good friends, it has help to make me hate myself less, feel more at ease with my body and to have some control over my life that wasn't there before.
Yes, there are good and bad parts to my job just like every other job out there. But there are so many positives. There is a freedom to working for yourself, there is a freedom in expressing yourself sexually and allowing others the chance to express themselves this way in a safe place with no judgment. Clients of all kinds see sex workers for many reasons. They are lonely, they want to be touched, they want to feel safe to explore their desires, they want a connection with another human being in an intimate way, they want to be able to feel desired. How is this a bad thing?
I would love to see acceptance of this industry, introduction of decriminalization across the world, better sex education for young people and adults, and understanding of the difference between sex work and trafficking. Why? Because when these things happen it will make people safer, it will make people not feel shame, it will mean sex workers can live their life in a way that works for them. There can only be positives if these things happen. I have seen so much good in this industry. People who are accepting, caring, intelligent, strong, compassionate. And isn't that a good thing?
Yes, I have had bad experiences but they are far outweighed by the good things. If and when I leave the industry, I will not turn my back on the people who have made my life a lot better by knowing them. I will continue to feel part of this community of amazing people. I will continue to write about the changes I feel need to happen, to bring awareness of the amazing people, and hopefully if just one person’s perception can change I'll be happy. Because taking a look at myself, yes I still have many issues of my own, but I have overcome many many issues because of sex work and that is directly related to 85% of the clients and other sex workers I have had come into my life.
My question to you is - do you think sex work is good or bad? Do you think there needs to be changes made in society to make it more acceptable? Why do you choose to be a client or a sex worker? Why do some feel there is shame attached to being one or the other? I think it’s time that our voices are heard and maybe there will be massive change. All we can do is keep trying. Keep our heads held high. Stick by those who are important to us and keep the discussion going and one day, hopefully in my life time change for the better will happen. I can't wait to see it unfold. I am lucky that the people in my life see the good things this industry has done for me, and want to understand it, and they are there with me hoping for change, and some of these people aren't even in the industry but feel sex workers are people, and deserve the same rights as everyone.
So on that note, I could write for days. But I hope after reading it will give some insight. Because at the end of the day, yes sometimes I have bad days just like with all the other jobs I have ever had. But I have gained so much, my eyes have opened, I have learnt so much, developed as a person, and improved as a person. And that can only be good.