The pros of paying for it.
Paying for intimacy is a bit of a hot topic that divides many and.....
.....it's probably one of the reasons why us sex workers get such a bad rap. Somehow that we receive money for intimate services is perceived by many as being false and/or two dimensional.
In this diary entry, I want to shed some light on why the element of monetary transaction actually gives this arrangement such clear and definite boundaries, is an incredibly honest and upfront exchange between two consenting adults and ultimately keeps things safe.
Whilst engaged in this work, naturally, I've developed a genuine fondness for many of my client/lovers. Part of why I am good at my profession, apart from the fact that I really enjoy sex, is because I have a genuine love for people. I am a giver by nature and I get a genuine rush out of making people feel good. I love to elevate people's feeling of wellbeing and general aliveness. This for me is so much a part of why I love this work and like anyone who loves their job, I also like getting paid for what I do....and paid my worth!
Paying for this service means there is an understanding of exactly what the relationship is and what is expected from one another. Both parties can go in knowing exactly where the parameters are. It keeps things safe and in check.
It's true that sometimes, one can develop a relationship with a client/lover where you may become very fond of each other. This is a perfectly natural development in any relationship where over time you get closer to someone. In any other relationship, this is where things can get blurry. But in this relationship, you have a very strict underlying code. It's always there and it keeps things in check.
When you are paying for an escort, you are not just paying for sex and intimacy. You are paying for a no strings attached arrangement, where you can come and go as you please, without judgement, knowing exactly where the parameters are.
You may be in a situation where you are not getting your sexual/intimate needs met in your everyday life. You come and spend time with someone who you can let down with and you go away knowing that you're safe and no one is going to get hurt or expect more from you than what you can give.
You are getting your needs met safely, drama-free and without getting involved in a torrid affair that may come back and cause major upheaval in your life.
When carried out professionally, this arrangement, is predictable, safe and most importantly has very clearly defined boundaries. This in itself is a huge part of the service and what you pay for.
Sex workers are human, we have emotions, we care, we love, we have families, partners, pets, children - just because there is a monetary transaction, it does not mean we do not genuinely feel things within the dynamic. If you are lovely then most likely we will respond to you with loveliness. If you are unkind and disrespectful then you will get very little if not nothing at all.
Paying for it keeps it safe, not just for the client, but also for the SW. Take away this aspect and it becomes uncertain and lines become blurry, precisely because we are human and emotional beings.
If you're seeking the services of an escort and you expect or ask for free or discounted service, you are reducing our worth to nothing. It's offensive to make someone feel less than their worth. So no, it's not all about 'the money' - paying for it has much more value than simply handing over cash.....it keeps things safe, respectful and in perspective for all parties concerned.
Cheers, Bianca xx