Another layer of Avani Grace..
Hello again! :)
I wrote a post a few weeks ago that somehow disappeared after I published it except the first paragraph (this was a full 7000 word entry!) sooo I had been feeling reluctant to write again as I poured SO much of my heart and vulnerability into this post as it is a topic very dear to my heart, perhaps in a while I will reattempt it :) Lesson taken.. ALWAYS save important things before posting haha, oops!
I've just returned to Melbourne after spending a truly wonderful 2 weeks in Brisbane, enjoying the sunshine, delicious food and incredible people.. I have to say that Queensland feels like home to me on par to the island I was living on in Thailand! Sunshine just makes everyone so much happier! I am actually now planning to move back there within the next few months! YAY!!! (will announce properly later)
I've been relaxing today as it is raining and overcast, and I found this to be the perfect opportunity for me to start putting some planning and intention into my first 'proper' photo shoot coming up in only 10 days! I am so extremely excited and of course also nervous.
It's really got me thinking about a lot.. hence the calling to write this entry.. as one thing that has showed up when thinking about out the ways I want to be portrayed in a photo shoot ultimately lead to the question of 'Who is my market? What kind of person am I wanting to attract, and, Why?'
You see, with me.. if you have met me (and know me on a more personal level) you will know that I am very raw and authentic with every person I meet! whether that be 'clients', my friends, family, the barista, the woman waiting at the bus stop.. like.. 110% this is me! Hellooo there!
I am an extremely expressive, bubbly, honest, passionate, loving and deeply sensual woman in all regards, and that is not something I want to tone down, mask or create any illusion around in any way!
But then I am left sitting with these questions that I mentioned above.. how do I convey this in a photo shoot? How do I fit alllll of this, into a photo? and again, what kind of person do I want to attract?
I would absolutely say that I am very particular with the people I choose to see. Obviously, my price does reflect this, and if you have attempted to book with me - you will see (unless you approached me in a direct, open and easy to read way) that I will not just see you because you can afford to pay my rate.
I deeply believe that what I offer, is NOT a service, but an experience. A very unique, genuine and loving experience that can not be summed up into words or a financial amount. And this is why I feel the deep need to be very precise about the people that I see - because for that to flow from me naturally - there needs to be a mutual base for this space to open up and flow from.
When I studied to be a Personal Trainer, I remember one thing that stuck with me in the marketing course was that they were telling us to always leave them needing to come back and see you. This stuck with me because I was shocked! It didn't feel nice to me and in fact goes against the whole reason i was drawn to do PT in the first place!
Of course I want to build consistent relationships with you and continue to see you, as that is something i also enjoy and strive for.. but I don't want to manipulate people into thinking that they need to source this feeling externally (disregarding this obvious sexual, physical and feminine qualities and delicious offerings to be enjoyed in bookings), but the one thing that I have noticed that gives me my consistent regulars, from what they share with me, is the feeling that I inspire in them.
I bring this up because I feel it is relevant to what I want to share with you in my post today.. and when I was thinking about the kind of person that I want to attract, this lead me to the question of 'what do I want them to take from our time together? What can I give and add to this persons life deeper then just a delicious memory of our physical and sexual entwinement?
Well to sum it up.. I want to provide the space, permission and encouragement to be their most fullest, rawest, vulnerable self - how ever that is in THAT moment. Because for all of us, it is constantly changing!
Sometimes this shows up as allowing them to be more submissive in ways they never knew they could ask for or perhaps knew they needed? Perhaps this is encouraging them to FEEL their full FUCK energy and just take control? Maybe this is letting them know that we actually don't need to have sex for you to feel the love, intimacy and nurturing that you are craving?
I am a big believer that our sexuality is the gateway and accelerated portal to access spirituality and uncover our truest self. Don't get me wrong.. I am wild, kinky and LOVE to have all kinds of sex.. but I also believe that the base that this needs to start from needs to be true and open.
I absolutely feel that you can make love to a woman while you fuck her brains out!
I hope that in me being so open, raw and vulnerable, that this creates the space and in a way, gives permission for them to just feel, say and BE who and however they are!
Sometimes I fear that by me being so passionate and upfront about who I am and what I invite in you.. that it will in-fact do the opposite, and scare people away! Which is obviously not what I want to do! But then I remind myself that.. hey.. that's okay. You can't ever force someone to be open or ready. And it's so fucking scary to be seen as we really are.. It's taken me a LOT of extremely deep psycho-therapeutic and assisted embodied work to be who/how I am in this moment, and that is always constantly changing!
I have one (of many) quotes I love and live by.. and one reminder I constantly tell myself is that 'It's not about being nice, decent, likeable or whatever.. it's about being REAL!'
But I guess I am just wanting to let you know that whenever you are ready.. I am so excited to see you.. and will accept and love whatever form you are comfortable to show up in.
You are always, so SAFE with me. I want to truly, deeply express this.
And I promise to always be as true as I can be, in every moment.
'Show me the parts of you that you do not love, so I know where to begin'