Love
Originally published on my own blog - see my website for more.
Justine and Jake* book me for a few hours. It's their anniversary they tell me, they can't wait to meet me. They promptly pay a deposit and send me little kiss emojis. A little flutter happens in my tummy.
They sound like great clients, I do love seeing couples and the vibe they give off seems easy going and like they are going to be a lot of fun. I see a lot of couples, and every dynamic is different. Sometimes there’s a lot of rules about who is allowed to do what, to navigate jealousy and the general feelings that can arise when you watch someone you love touching someone else. And it’s all cool, I’ll always support people to do what feels comfortable for them and nothing else. Sometimes rules can be a bit of a tease which can also be fun in it’s own way.
I generally like to hear from the woman first - too often I fear male partners (assuming cis-m/f couple here, as they seem to be my most common couple dynamic) might be coercing their loved one to do something outside their scope, and often times couples enquiries are fake - just a dudebro getting off to the fantasy of a threesome with their uninterested wife. But I persevere with this side of escorting because while I obviously thrive with individual clients - there’s something about a threesome with a couple that when it goes well - there’s an unmatchable high attached to it.
Justine approached me - she articulated that this would be their first time introducing an extra person to the bedroom, but she sounded excited and honestly, enquiries from women are almost always top notch, respectful and to the point. Exactly how I like it. So my nervous flutter was one of excitement, not anxiety - I can’t wait to meet them.
I open the door to this jaw-dropping couple on their anniversary, and they’ve dressed up a little and the scent of Calvin Klein Light Blue and Marc Jacobs Daisy is intense but leaves an impression - and I’m flattered by their effort. They’re both in dark colours which reminds me of the sexy mysterious professionals in the big cities and it contrasts my yellow dress - bold being basically my signature by now. We pop some bubbles, the most aphrodisiac of drinks and my constant social drink of choice, and conversation is easy and flirty. We haven’t touched yet but there’s a trickle of excited sweat down my back which I hate the sensation of but signals the extent of my nervous anticipation. I’m the luckiest hooker in Australia tonight.
If you know one thing about me it’s that I’m quite introverted, but I also thrive as the centre of attention (it’s an only child thing), and almost as if they knew it, I have become the focus of the evening. I drink them in and feel overwhelmed that such a gorgeous, sophisticated couple have for some reason chosen me to be their host for their maiden voyage into debauchery. My curiosity about their bodies, and how they move, drives us to the bedroom quicker than perhaps I’d usually take things. No complaints, believe me.
We’d discussed their boundaries in the booking process, for which they stipulated they were comfortable with each other getting fully involved in everything, which is fun. I think they’ve been anticipating this for a long time, couples often fuck and fantasise together about threesomes well before they happen - I know from experience. But I ask before kissing her - consent is sexy, but honestly I just want to hear her tell me she wants it - it drives me crazy hearing someone tell me they want me. My ego and sex drive often intertwine, I won’t apologise for it. I ask them before I kiss him, I run my hands around their bodies asking if they like it, and their moans of encouragement excite me. As she’s bi-curious, but never having done more than kiss a girl, I ask Justine if I can eat her pussy to which they both respond with a glint in their eyes - a certain ‘yes please’. Nice.
I usually find myself a little dominant with women, something I’ve discovered in the last couple of years - my switchey-ness has been well and truly cemented - and I push her knees up to her gorgeous chest and hold her still by the ankles while I eagerly pleasure her - Jake looking on as if he’s seen the light of God, and they kiss, hungrily with full love and support of each other as they journey through this new experience together. It’s truly the most beautiful thing.
Later, after a team effort of a blowjob and experiencing that condom sex is no barrier to fun, Jake cums also, behind me in doggy, watching his wife writhe around in pleasure while being held still by this strong, tattooed stranger that he’s fucking. And as I write this, I’m wet as a puddle, because obviously, physically, threesomes are a very sexy thing. For me as a bisexual woman, it’s a little like a smorgasbord - some of everything I like. Experiencing this with sexually progressive, stunning individuals is possibly the hottest thing I can do in this work. Work perks if you will - often this job is genuinely sexually exciting. I absolutely have thought about this booking while using my Satisfyer Pro (google it) a few times. But it’s also so much more than that, and this is where I get to (what I think is) the point of this post.
Love is just a beautiful thing to experience, to witness and to participate in. The experiences that I have with couples are just so magical because these two people have really put their trust in me to respect and celebrate the love that they have and to guide them in a way that is comfortable and unthreatening, into new touch, new experiences, new rabbit holes to fall down. When I’m in the company of people who fully support each other to really to explore, I’m most at home - this is my element.
After Jake and Justine leave, the smell of pussy making itself at home on my face, the latex smells and stale perfume still engulfing my senses, I call my partner B to tell them about what an amazing day I just had at work. I wander from one supportive relationship and back into my own, knowing that the reception I’ll receive when I tell this person who I love that I just ate the pussy of one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen, under the watchful eye of an excited husband, will be truly happy for me. Every genuinely supportive partner of a sex worker wants a phonecall about a good day, hoping it isn’t a bad one. But B just genuinely wants me to have a damn good time and find my bliss. That’s polyamory, I’ve found. Afterwards, still beaming, I leave a message for my partner G, who later calls me with an OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING because their office job just never lives up to my work stories in their eyes (obviously I never give any details in my horny work stories that could even remotely identify my clients). G tells me that they think what I did for that relationship went beyond transaction and beyond sex, the Yoda that they are, and their pride in me and what I do melts me - G does that a lot. My partners don’t just tolerate my work - they know it’s a part of me and they’re proud of it.
And this is who I am, at the core of things. I live a life rooted deeply in love. It’s a hard thing to say here, I think. I do keep my personal life very private and sacred, because that’s exactly what it is. But it’s really hard for me to convey my brand as one thing when I’m another. I want people to know that I am supportive of different relationship dynamics, I’m supportive of different sexualities and identities and people who are having their own struggles either with monogamy, with love or even just life. I want people to know that I foster an environment, backed up in my own life, where people can just be themselves and let go safely. I have been afraid I think, to discuss love, I know from experience in the last 10 years that you can lose clients if they know you’re loved - but perhaps I’ve outgrown putting up with people who think I should be denied the same things people enjoy in other occupations. I am not a possession - and love really fosters love. I bring more to my job, knowing I am supported through the good and the bad, and knowing that I have a safe place in the world outside of my job as well. Being loved, being poly, being bi, means I truly understand these moments, like with J & J, strengthening their relationship by having new experiences and exploring parts of themselves that may be on the surface quite sexual, but also touch on parts of your identity and place in the world. Being experienced, cared for and happy should never be seen as a negative in the world at all, lest of all the funny little world of sex work.
And no-one really talks enough about how much love surrounds and intertwines with the world of sex work, perhaps for the same reasons I have also shyed away from it. Sex work is definitely about sex with no strings, to a point. And it’s fun and I like it. Easy, breezy no strings fucking is high on my list of things I enjoy. But more often than not, it’s deeper than that. In this past year alone, even in spite of the absolute shit-show that is Covid-19, I’ve been a birthday present to people hired by their significant others. I’ve been part of anniversary (and wedding!) celebrations, I’ve been medicine for heartbreak, I’ve been a lockdown buddy, I’ve been the person people explore their sexuality with, I’ve been the person people share their secrets with and the person people talk to about the loves of their lives. And in my own life I am loved, I love, and I’ve supported my partners through other loves, heartbreaks and my friends through theirs too. And these moments, like with Justine and Jake, especially this year, remind me of our humanity, when at times it feels distant. Love really does transcend everything, and if we can celebrate it, explore it, support it and hold onto it, perhaps we can look back on these times and remember love most of all.
* Not real names
