Personal Growth through Companionship - What I’ve Learned
Yesterday I got thinking about my time as an escort. I was driving past my first ever workplace, a brothel on a busy main road in Brisbane. I had started this line of work in 2020, when I was laid off from my job due to COVID (turns out nationwide lockdowns aren't the ideal time to be a travel agent!) and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong - I was petrified when I first started. Sure, I've had sex before, but with a stranger? For money? To provide intimacy as a service felt daunting because to get paid I would have to be good at it. And what if I wasn't?
It wouldn't be my first time EVER as a sex worker. I had done a small stint as a stripper which made me realise I had zero skills as an exotic dancer and didn't have the confidence to talk in big groups. I'd also just started making content on OnlyFans.
I remember when I first emailed the brothel I had my start in. I didn't know how to write an email asking for a job at a brothel. Do I tell them my work experience or my cup size? Or both, or neither? When I had my interview I was so nervous I wouldn't get a place that I lied and said "Yes of course I've done FSSW before!". This was an outright lie, and an indicator of my naivete. When I arrived to my first shift, I was rushed through the induction process, as my first client was already waiting for me in reception.
"Do the clients put the condom on themselves, or am I required to put it on for them?" the shift manager looked at me blankly, replying "I have never been asked that question before". At that moment, we both knew I had no idea what I was doing. Nevertheless, within 15 minutes of arriving I was whisked into my first ever FSSW booking. I am honestly grateful I dove right in without having a chance to chicken out.
Today, I am a fulltime independent escort. I make porn films. I tour around Australia and have even toured to New Zealand. But aside from my professional growth, I am struck by how much this path has shaped me as a person. When I first started, I saw this work as a means to an end—financial stability, independence, and the freedom to carve out my own path in life. What I didn’t anticipate was the profound impact it would have on my personal growth.
Emotional Resilience
As an escort, you meet people from all walks of life, each with their own stories, struggles, and desires. I've had clients come to me during some of the most challenging moments of their lives, whether it's after their marriage has fallen apart, following the loss of a spouse, or in situations where they've never experienced a sexual encounter before. I've also supported those who are healing from the trauma of sexual assault. In these moments, you are navigating complex emotions through a delicate process of reconnecting with intimacy.
I've considered all such instances as a great privilege to be part of, and an even greater lesson. My time with clients as shown me how to remain present, calm, and compassionate, even in situations that might have once overwhelmed me. The experience has taught me that emotional strength isn’t about being unaffected by life’s challenges but rather about facing them with a steady heart.
The Art of Listening and Understanding
Communication is at the heart of what I do. Being a successful companion isn’t just about providing physical intimacy; it’s about connecting on a deeper level. This requires not just talking, but truly listening. I’ve honed my ability to understand not only what is being said but also what is left unsaid.
Learning to read between the lines, picking up on non-verbal cues, and responding with empathy has transformed the way I interact with everyone in my life. This skill has deepened my relationships, both professional and personal. It has taught me that communication is an art form—one that requires practice, patience, and a genuine interest in the other person.
Broadening Perspectives
The world of companionship has introduced me to a diverse array of people—individuals I might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Each client brings a unique perspective, shaped by their experiences, culture, and worldview. The vascular surgeon more acquainted with the hospital than their home of 25 years tells me what it's like to live and breathe your work. The tradesman that teaches me all about rugby and the stock market, which I'd never thought I'd be so interested in. The stay-at-home mother that recently divorced her husband after realizing her sexuality. Through these encounters, I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of diversity in a profound way.
This exposure has broadened my own perspective, challenging my preconceived notions and encouraging me to see the world through different lenses. It has made me more open-minded, more accepting, and more appreciative of the different ways we live our lives.
Self Awareness
Perhaps one of the most surprising outcomes of my work has been the journey of self-discovery it sparked. Being an escort requires a high level of self-awareness. You need to know your boundaries, understand your motivations, and be in tune with your own needs and desires. I’ve discovered strengths I didn’t know I had, like the ability to adapt to new situations and connect with many different types of people on a deep emotional level. I’ve also become more aware of my vulnerabilities, and in doing so, I’ve learned to embrace them rather than shy away from them. Sex work has empowered me to live more authentically, both in my professional life and in my personal relationships.
Empowerment & Independence
Finally, being an escort has given me a sense of empowerment and independence that I cherish. I’ve learned to take control of my future, to make decisions that are right for me, and to stand firm in my choices. This was a hard one to attain - many people view sex work as 'immoral' or 'degrading'. I would never speak to the experiences of all sex workers, but I would say I'm fortunate enough to have had an amazing relationship with sex work. The only drawbacks came from others' perceptions of the profession, not my own.
The Journey Continues...
I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and the growth I’ve experienced. Being an adult companion is about so much more than providing a service—it’s about connection, understanding and the privilege of sharing intimate (and sometimes vulnerable) moments with another soul.
To my prospective and existing clients - thank you for being part of my journey, and for allowing me to be a part of yours.
With love,
Luna xx
