To say or not to say.
The last few weeks I have been sitting on news that upsets me. News that I have not really wanted to speak about little own announce but as time is approaching it will become apparent.
So the question am I still leaving? Yes, my new normal employment start date is in March 2020 in a country far from here i call home, not because it's where I am from but because it is the place i have felt more home than anywhere. I'm excited to return to civi life and work but of course scared as. I had intentions of just doing some touristy months and adapting to life before commencing long hours, commutes and normality. Although those months of rest seem nice and I have some savings I've crunched numbers and I don't have enough to enjoy my time and keep enough rainy day funds until my normal job sets it. I've worked hard the last few months but have had unexpected expenses and just life. I would be stupid to move and struggle when I can just be lenient with myself and allow myself to continue for a month or two more than I intended and come up with enough cash for emergencies.
I have travel fever, I am bored of here but of course travel costs money and planning. I'm looking at doing a few more tours interstate if gentlemen pre book and deposit. Possibly Singapore too I feel like being in different places but will try to continue to see my adored Brisbane regulars on a weekly basis but for incalls they must be prebooked unless someone else already has because I live 2 hours away. I need time to organise and prepare the incall always a inner city secure apartment. If your in the northern of Brisbane or Sunshine Coast I can also organise a apartment there but also require prebook and Deposit and 1.5 hour minimum.
So I do feel a bit disappointed in myself as when I get upset about something I just waste time sulking on it. So here it is said I was silly and put huge unnecessary pressure on myself. I have the job I have funds for tickets I have things organised but I don't have enough $ too chill out for 3 months. Work a bit harder and start buying more furniture over there. Maybe not be silly and get a car there too. It's only 3 months until I start my new job. But yes I am disappointed a 3 month holiday I won't get but my way of compromise is possibly meet some more great people and travel a little before I go. Save more money so I don't have to stress when I arrive in my new home cause once I go I cannot come back and cannot do this work again. And well it would take me a week of normal work to make a hour.
So I was stupid but now I'm being smart. I am disappointed but am aware it's only a few more months until I am waking up in my new country in the beginning of a life I have longed for a very long time surrounded by the people I love. I just need to stop being harsh on myself and get it done.
Next question when are you leaving?
That's unpredictable I am aware of how much funds I need in order to make my goal prior retirement. But this time of a year can be so unpredictable but seen as though I don't celebrate these holiday events I am able to work all the way through. Maybe I might be able too in time, I am lucky because I am such a weirdo and unique I stand out and for some obscene reason my regulars adore me. Maybe I'll fly out February early.
Something I do know is soon things will be very different. I'm scared but I'm excited. Anyone who had such s big plan fall through knows the feeling of disappointment that comes with it and although it isn't completely fallen through it's delayed and I was really looking forward to welcoming in the NY in my new city and life. But I have another new year later in the year to welcome it in anyway and maybe that will be the best one to be my first NY instead of the standard calendula year probably be more special then.
But I'm looking forward to more travel. So FM2Y, weekend get a ways, overnight bookings are becoming my favourite. But require notice as I have fur children (pets) and need to arrange their carer.
So I'm still on the final countdown but the tracks going to be on repeat for a little longer than I planned. Hopefully my time is well spent and with nice men.
Thanks so much by the way to all the men I have met recently I am so glad I finally have reached my audience of people I like to spend time with and spoil. If we haven't met yet Just please remember to introduce yourself properly and do not worry I like exotic names no need to use fake first names x
hugs and kisses
Armarni B xx
