escort diary® of Clover Du Lac: The Girl Behind the Enigma- Two Questions (Part 1)
I can think of two questions from my childhood that may have led me down this path: Why? and Who is she?
The Why?
Well, that one has caused me quite a lot of trouble throughout my life.
The first time I remember asking why, I would have been about seven or eight years old. After church, my brain was buzzing. Although I can't remember what my question was, I do remember my grandmother's response:
"You don't question the Lord. That's blasphemy."
And so, obviously, I asked why again. Hahaha.
My grandmother wasn't impressed, but ever since, my quest has been the why. The why of everything. And I guess I've been committing blasphemy ever since...
The Who Is She?
I first found myself pondering this question after walking into the lounge room of my aunty's home to get a glass of water. An old Western movie was playing, one my uncle had left on while he drove to the store.
What did I see?
A dancer on stage, dancing topless, with people cheering and throwing money.
It wasn't the money, the cheering or even the exposed chest that struck me.
It was her confidence. Not just the confidence to be on stage, but to live so freely and do what made her happy. To have her body on display and be completely unashamed of it. WOW!
As a good little Christian girl, I'd never seen anything like that. I wasn't even allowed to have my knees showing, for goodness' sake! Hahaha.
I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I remember sipping my water as slowly as I possibly could, very aware of the sound of my aunty tinkering away in the garden, while my eyes soaked in the images flashing across the screen.
I think that was the moment I realised there was a different way to live, and that not every life looked the same beyond the boundaries of my little country town.
Although I started questioning things at a young age, it was much later in life that I began questioning myself, my life decisions and the life I would actually enjoy living, rather than the life I was told I should want.
Now, that's not to say these were the only two things that led me down this path. Hahaha. Oh no, that particular adventure came much later.
But I think these two moments, separated by different stages of my childhood, sparked something in me.
Not rebellion, but a quiet curiosity about how the other side lives, why we believe what we believe and whether the grass really is greener beyond the sunburnt earth and out among the city lights.
So, why?
And who is she?
The why is something I can answer. But who is she?
Well, hopefully, through my diary entries and our time together, you'll learn enough to feel confident in answering that question.
