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The ‘Size’ Conversation

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I’d like to have a conversation with you about penis size.

It comes up in pillow talk with my clients all the time.  Some men hint at feeling inadequate, and some ask what I think outright. It has always been fascinating to me that men are so concerned with the size of their penises.

There is no real equivalent for women – for us, feeling sexually accomplished or sexually inferior depends on a number of physical and mental attributes. We don’t feel like our sexual prowess is judged mainly by the size of our boobs or bits. However for some reason, size seems to be an overriding concern for you guys!

I had a conversation with a client this week who criticised his (perfectly adequate) penis and asked me for an honest opinion. When I said that he was fine, he confessed to being worried that I was ‘just saying that’, as though there is some sort of female conspiracy to tell all small-penised men that they’re okay while really we’re laughing on the inside.

I fail to connect with the ‘penis size’ issue in a really big way. It’s always puzzled me that such importance is attached to a physical measurement rather than considering the ‘bigger picture’ of a sexual encounter. But whenever I try to explain this to a male partner, they always regard me with suspicion. Perhaps they are so used to measuring their sexual prowess using one specific scale that they can’t see the value in the other aspects of the encounter. 

So does penis size matter to me at all? The answer is, sort of.

If we’re just talking about how it feels, anything within certain parameters is going to feel good. If you’re average size, or slightly below average, or slightly above average, you’re fine and you’re going to make me happy as long as you use it right.

If you happen to measure at the extreme ends of the scale – extremely small or extremely large – then we may have some issues to work around. Being extremely small can be inconvenient as it’s harder to achieve penetration and your partner might not feel as much. You may need to work a little harder. I know some guys who are quite small (I’m talking an inch or so when erect) who are very good at giving head, or using their fingers, to make sure they get their partner off.

At the other end of the scale, being extremely large has some definite problems. I know women who will turn down potential lovers simply because they’re too big, and sex is painful. It also takes some of the fun out of it, when you have to be so careful not to hurt your partner that you can’t just ‘let go’ and have energetic sex! Being too big also requires a bit more hard work.

When it comes to pleasure, plenty of other factors are just as important to me as penis size. Your enthusiasm, your ability to connect with me, your technique and your general sexiness are much more important than the size of your ‘bits’.  Unless you are extremely large or small, sex will be as easy and natural and pleasurable as we allow it. And if you do measure in at an extreme on the large or small side, it’s just a matter of tweaking your technique to ensure maximum pleasure for all parties. If you want some pointers I’m always happy to show you the way.

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