I'm a generally positive person and I don't like to focus on the negatives. Sometimes, though, it's frustrating. Some guys that contact me don't do themselves any favours with regards to their communication style. It's not always deliberate - often they just don't know how it should be done, or they aren't familiar with the booking process. So occasionally I receive text messages or emails that just don't meet my minimum standards, or that require a whole lot of extra work from me to make sure the sender isn't dodgy. When you're contacting a sex work professional, coming across as a decent human being is very important. We are humans too and we are much more likely to give you a good service if your booking process is stress-free. The more difficult or stressful the initial conversation is, the less favourably we will feel towards you. That translates into tension, lack of connection and inevitably a less enjoyable experience when we if finally meet.Here's a short list of the most common things you can do to make a good impression, and avoid those all-important dealbreakers. Let's not cut the fun short before it's even begun!Write in whole sentences, whether your message is via tex...

What do weightlifting, self-defence and sexual domination have in common? Here's the obvious answer: I enjoy all of them! And there's a good reason for this...I have been a gym junkie for six years. My interest began when I needed to vent some frustration during a particularly difficult time in my life. I began to run on the treadmill and then later, to lift heavy weights. From there, I progressed to gymnastics and olympic weightlifting. I worked for three years as an amateur, practicing alone in the gym or under the eye of a personal trainer. Three more years were spent studying and practicing for a career in fitness.  There's something satisfying about having a physical outlet for my emotions: I trained my body to recognise a pounding heart and shaking muscles as signs of hard work rather than distress. As my strength and confidence grew, I gained a good sense of my physical body and its capabilities (down to the last kilogram of weight lifted). This is called 'prioperception': the sense of the relative position of one's own parts of the body, and of the strength of effort being employed in movement.I think that women general aren't encouraged to develop a sense of their own...

I had a 'lightbulb moment' this week while I was talking with some friends about our reasons for doing sex work.The answers we gave for our choices were all so different! Both our ways of working and the values that shaped them were as varied as the personalities at that table. It sounded as though we were actually running many different types of businesses. I had always assumed that the way I work is  somehow fundamentally similar to the way everyone else does - the sex industry is fairly homogeneous  Certainly, some of the practical considerations we discussed were similar: money, safety, legalities. But when it comes down to the actual 'doing' there was much more individuality than I expected.The escort who sees married businessmen may work completely differently to the one who sees disabled people. The guy who enacts a glamorous persona in his sessions will feel different to the lady who uses sex work to explore some of her own kinks - and this difference in approach will fundamentally change the way the worker interacts with his or her clients. When I do the job, it feels theraputic. My background is in counselling and customer service, so I look for the psychologica...