diary of male escort Lexx Soule: THE 10 COMMANDMENTS TO BE THE BEST CLIENT (PART 2)
6. Sobriety
Please do not arrive to the bookings overly intoxicated. This includes but is not limited to being drunk, being high on meth, cocaine, copious amounts of weed, LSD, mushrooms etc. Some of you have probably just read a couple of those substance and thought, “What the fuck, here comes the fun police”, and look there is a reason that sex is the first word in ‘sex, drugs, rock & roll’, and if you have followed me for a while you know a little about my story – a couple bongs or a doobie never hurt; when times are desperate a Coca-Cola can works wonders (stoners will understand); I have been known to bake the best brownies; I’m a ‘bad boy’ and partied over my years. I have disassociated myself with that lifestyle, though I’m not a prudish saint. As a professional though I highly recommend being sober for bookings with escorts. We need you to be cognitive for one hundred and one reasons, and apart from weed, those other drugs have the potential to have some seriously negative side effects, especially if you lose control. Being with someone stuck in an unstable psychosis is dangerous and scary.
A little while ago I had a client who was a heavy alcoholic, and I did not find this out until I arrived. For the most part she was a lovely lady and quite attractive. We had relatively normal conversations, her texting was completely normal, she was cognitive, she was able to clearly consent and communicate. Though when things became a little uncomfortable for me and I said that I had to leave I was aggressively told that I was a bad person, and to fuck off. She then later apologised and asked to see me again, I agreed providing she had a glass of water for every glass of vodka she had. She was a good girl. The reason I am telling this story is for two reasons; (1) the educational purpose of workers, (2) to educate clients on the risks. A lot of people within this world (earth) use substances, smoke cigarettes, and have vices; either as copying mechanisms, stress relief, or an escape from their reality. As a provider you need to be aware of this and make your own judgements for your own self about whether or not you service people with such vices. Some workers do not, some do. Let’s imagine that my client was a cocaine addict or ice addict and when I said I was uncomfortable and was leaving, she became violent instead of verbal. While drunks & alcoholics can be equally violent & dangerous, from my experiences they are a little less coordinated than those on substances like cocaine and ice. If you know anything about those two drugs you will know what I am talking about.
Should you be a client using these substances you put yourself at risk when hiring escorts. What if you hired a bad person who was selling themselves as an escort, you pass out drunk, wake up and all your valuables are gone. That would be horrible!
SOBRIETY.
7. Treat the escort how you want to be treated
Would you like an irritated, miserable, arrogant provider? And not in the consensual way where you’ve asked for a spanking and dirty words. The kind that complains and nags about everything you do wrong, the kind that sits on their phone the entire time, the kind that says I’m going to pleasure you for fours but then jack hammers you for ten minutes. Would you like your escort arriving to a booking stoned off their face & drunk? 95% of clients answered no to that last question. So, we (escorts) need you not to be an irritated, miserable, arrogant client. Just some basic respect really. No man whore/ slut shaming! No trying to cut the bill! No taking videos & photos without our consent! Do not threaten our identities if we are closed face! I don’t know what’s worse, man whore/ slut shaming; or the fact that you are willing to pay for a man whore/ slut in the first place…..
Should the escort not live up to your expectation, that is unfortunate, do not see them again. This is why if it is your first time hiring someone, I recommend only paying for two hours. Two hours allows a comfortable amount of time to become acquainted and settle the nerves with conversation and a massage, the sex, and the aftercare. Should you just desire companionship for the first booking, two hours is a great time to have a good conversation and gauge whether or not the escort is someone you could spend time with. Sometimes escorts are like an expensive brand of shoes, they look great, but they just don’t fit your foot or give you blisters. Should you have the spare cash and intend to have a long term relationship, then a longer eight hour booking would be the best booking length for first time interactions because you will develop a strong sense of whether the escort you hired is the right escort for you.
TREAT THE ESCORT HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.
8. Be punctual
Should the booking time be arranged for 7:00pm, be at the rendezvous at 7:00pm. if it’s a hotel booking and you’re waiting in your room not the lobby, I would say that is acceptable. Do not make the escort wait in the lobby for hours on end. There are very rare cases where for whatever reason the booking is delayed, simply contact the provider as soon as you know there will be a delay, apologies and give them an eta. The provider may at their full disclosure decline the booking and leave, or ask for a waiting fee/ extension. This is where showing the provider respect with your initial enquiry and messages is important; should you have sent all the information the escort asks for, a clear photo (if they request one), and paid your deposit you will most likely have an escort more willing to wait for you. Should you have complained, nagged and tried to cut the fees the worker will be irritated and be less inclined to stay.
If you leave the provider waiting longer then fifteen minutes without an update and information regarding your whereabouts, they have every right to leave the rendezvous and keep the deposit. My rule after my one incident became if you are more than fifteen minutes late to the rendezvous without a legitimate reason, I will be excusing myself.
You would be irritated if your escort arrived late. Escorts become irritated when you arrive late. WE ARE NOT SLAVES!
BE PUNCTUAL.
9. We do not want to date you
Genuinely good escorts, that enjoy their work adore their clients, we have a deep-rooted empathy, we enjoy making you smile, we enjoy giving you a space to adventure your sexuality and so much more. What we are giving you though is a fantasy, or at least the very best version of ourselves. We are not Tinder, we are not eHarmony, we are escorts. We are not going to stop doing this line of work to be with you; we aren’t lonely and depressed; we have our own sexual, intimate, psychological needs; We have things that we do not show.
Thankfully I haven’t had to face this scenario yet, talking to some female providers apparently it is quite common. How would you be able to handle the fact that we will continue to do this work? You are not going to ‘save’ us. We do not need ‘saving’ – well most of us don’t. Save yourself the stress, strain, and sanity, and leave this as an escort client relationship
Have you experienced family troubles, relationship troubles, employment troubles or any other troubles?
Fun fact. We escorts have those things too. We may not talk about them like you, which you need to respect if we choose not to, as we do you. But surprise, surprise we too take the rubbish out, go to the toilet, have a family that is nagging us, a friendship circle that need us, and a range of other normal life things. Escorts are either a fantasy character or our very best selves. Not your lifelong partner.
WE DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOU.
10. Educate yourself
Educate yourself on sex work, escorting and STI’s. doing this will aid you in being respectful of what we do and the services we provide. Instagram pages like ‘The Good Client Guide’ provide a great stepping stone for the education clients need - https://www.instagram.com/thegoodclientguide/
You do not need to be an expert, you just need to demonstrate to us providers that you care enough about the experience to learn. You care enough about the business relationship that we share, that you will make us feel safe. Demonstrate to us that you value us. Demonstrate that you genuinely want us to be there. Demonstrate to us that you are looking at a person, and an individual not just a novelty sex doll. You can be quirky, you can be yourself, you can be different, just be your best self, your most well-mannered self – saying please, thank you, bless you, pardon me goes a long way. Even my alcoholic client mentioned earlier had great manners. Most professional escorts accept & welcome your differences, you are you; we just also want to be treated like a person too. When you educate yourself on sex work, escorting, being a client, STI’s, and sex as a whole, you will theoretically behave in a much more appropriate manner with your escort. You will begin to see the importance of this work, and how we are not just objects of penetration. We too want to feel like we actually matter, and that we are adding value to someone else’s life.
Begin educating yourself on sex, sex work, consent, STI’s, and human nature to help bring your best self to the booking, giving yourself the best chance at a good time.
EDUCATE YOURSELF.
