diary of male escort Lexx Soule: Questionable Kinks: The Sadist & The Masochist (Part 2)
I would like to acknowledge that before you do experiment with these extreme acts of adult fun to do a little bit of research in how to have fun safely, even something as simple as choking can be done very poorly; pulling someone’s hair can feel incredible or it can feel like torture. Communication is key and if the person you are experimenting with is not respecting your boundaries get out of the situation! Because otherwise one, both or all involved could end up hurt mentally, spiritually, and/ or physically. Using safe words is the best way of communicating your comfort level; a very simple red, yellow, green system is the easiest way. Red means stop everything immediately; yellow means slow things down or turn the intensity down; green means resume. Obviously as you become more experienced or develop some form of relationship with your partner(s), you might come up with different safe words. I have different safe words in my personal life to my professional life, for work I will always use red, yellow, green.
Another thing I would like to put forth to any sadist having fun with masochists is the simple act of applauding your masochist when they say red or yellow. There are masochists who like to push their limits and do not want to let the sadist see them as meek, and so by giving them a simple “Well done”, “Good job”, “You did well”, “Good girl”, “Good boy” etc, when they use the safe words, gives the masochist the safety to know you (the sadist/ top) accepts their limit. Conversely as the sadist, when they hear the masochist express their limit the sadist can trust that masochist will communicate their limits without putting themselves in danger. Because the truth is, in the world of ADULT fun, consensual sadists and masochists enjoy the experience a great deal and do not want any real harm to come to the other person.
The Masochist
The masochist – A person who derives sexual pleasure from being hurt or controlled by another person. (2)
“Pain is just a feeling to let you know you are still alive” – Hellraiser.
As you may know the human body can take a beating and keep on going. People survive car accidents; concussions; broken arms heal; you could smoke cigarettes for five years, quit and then over the course of five to ten years the body will heal itself. Conversely you can also die in less than a second.
When under extreme stress, or a life-threatening injury presents itself, your body floods with adrenaline. You will feel less pain, maybe have a second life, have more energy; it’s remarkable really.
From my experiences and knowledge that’s what excites a masochist, you’re in a consensual space where you can push your pain, stress, and psychological threshold, while trusting that the person inflicting the pain will not push you over the edge. The pain does not have to be subject to the physical realm either. You could install fear into someone which will mentally stimulate the fight or flight response, you could degrade someone and make them feel powerless with your words – imagine a powerful individual who usually has everyone ‘fear’ them, they may enjoy someone making them feel inferior in the privacy of the bedroom. It’s a mental, physical, and spiritual experience to see just how much your body can endure, how much your mind can take, how strong you are mentally, physically, and spiritually. It is and can be form of meditation for some people. It feels empowering. It makes you feel strong.
Through out the centuries there have been initiations for boys to become men, painful initiations that have sometimes caused death. Think of the Papua New Guinea tribe that wear ant gloves, think about the Spartans, there is an African tribe that cut their skin repetitively so deep that they shower in their own blood – The Crocodile initiation (4). The scars look like that of a crocodile’s back. As a man, being a masochist could be appealing because through the times enduring some form of pain has been your transcendence into manhood.
From a female perspective, you may enjoy relinquishing control to a stronger, more destructive body because you as the feminine inherently want to serve and please your superior. Let them have their way with you, let them do whatever they want, hungry to devour you. But you want it in a way that means there are roses, chocolates, and cuddles at the end from someone who actually cares about you. Childbirth is an extremely painful experience, women are not meek, and so female masochists may to enjoy seeing how much pain they can physically endure.
Historically there have always been leaders and followers, but I think that the term of being a leader or a follower would just play into the parent category of Dominant & Submissive. Because you could enjoy following and serving someone, but hate pain. And really has anybody ever loved pain, I would argue that it is the mental conditioning that makes people enjoy pain, or at least not fear pain. No sane everyday individual will say to another individual, “Would you please grab a whip and whip me until I’m crying and bleeding on the ground”. When soldiers are put through extreme training and beaten to a pulp do you think they just stand there and take the beating – if instructed to of course they will do the best they can to not move, but otherwise they will fight back so that their body gets away from the pain. If you put two signs in the middle of the busy area with one saying give a free punch, and one saying receive a free punch I personally believe you would have more people line up to give a free punch. Usually humans want to take for themselves and not give, but in this situation I think a lot of people would become the most generous givers the world has ever seen.
There is a lot of fun that can be had as a masochist, only if you are in the right environment with the right person.
