diary of male escort Lexx Soule: Questionable Kinks: The Dominant & The Submissive (Part 2)
Dominants
Hard Dom – Hard doms are going to be quite domineering and strict with enforcing order within the relationship. They may be more strict, more ‘mean’, be more firm, inflict more harsh punishments compared to your entry level dom, or daddy/ mommy dom. Do not let the word ‘hard’ frighten you, some submissives need and desire someone being firm with them. These types of doms can be great people to follow if they have respect for others and themselves, and the submissive embraces the dynamic correctly and respectfully.
Daddy/ mommy Dom – Usually a softer kind of Dom, they are a little more nurturing, they will play at the little prince or princess inside of us – maybe wash the hair of their sub while bathing, taking the sub out for ice cream as a reward, buying gifts that remind the sub of their younger self - like a plush toy or collectables. I intend to discuss this style of Doming & relationship dynamic in greater depth in the ‘Questionable Kinks: DDLG & MDLG’ blog. From my own experiences and beliefs this style of doming & submitting works on a deep-rooted psychological level. However there are a few issues surrounding this kink that need to also be brought to attention. We are adults and need to grow up!
Financial Dom or Fin Dom – Quite self-explanatory, the power exchange of ones financials. THIS IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT FOR EVERYBODY! I do not believe being a financial Dom is just about being a sugar mummy or sugar daddy, if the sugar top is just giving their bottom money to do whatever they want, the top is not exactly taking responsibility for the welfare of their bottom. Thus not doming. To me if you want to financially dom/ domme someone you must be overlooking your subs financials, enforcing good spending/ savings habits, teaching money techniques, rewards & punishments around the use of money.
A Master or Mistress – Fuck me! if you are not either retired, or financially, mentally, and/ or time abundant do not call yourself a full-time Master/ Mistress. If you are not prepared to think 2, 3, 4, 5 steps ahead for your submissive slave then do not claim to be, and do not attempt being a master. Full-time Masters are people who literally control every aspect of their submissives life. Full-time Masters choose what their submissives eat, when they eat, when sex happens, what type of sex happens, how they dress in & out of the bedroom and much, much more. If you read that and think “fuck me, why would anyone do that.” There are boundaries and open communication that must be established before engaging in this relationship dynamic. E.g. You as the slave may still have an occupation that you are not willing to jeopardise and that you enjoy, so obviously you would have to let your master/ mistress know they can not jeopardise such thing. Maybe you do not want to relinquish control over your financials and do not exchange the power of such. Remember in the world of consensual kink this is fun and all people involved must be on the same page otherwise there are complications and the possibility of trauma. Usually, master slave relationships are only temporary because of life commitments. You must be really switched on and focused to be a master. In the right environment and with the right person, submitting to a Master would be extremely fun, just as being the master would be equally as fun. But both would be equally tiring. Do you think you could coordinate your own life while controlling every detail of someone else’s? If you are new to the world of kink and being a dominant & submissive do not enter a master slave dynamic, it requires psychological intelligence, emotional intelligence, a strong understanding of human nature and sex. People can and will get hurt very badly if this dynamic is executed poorly, even more so than a ‘standard’ dom sub relationship.
Should the master/ slave dynamic appeal to you, experiment with your partner for a day. Discuss your boundaries and have some fun.
The Submissives
The Brat – They will test you, they will push your limits, they want to be tamed and they want to see how good of a dominant and leader you are. Will you put up with their misbehaving, how much trouble will they get away with before you punish them. These types of submissives are not for every dominant, some dominants like the challenge of taming a brat, making them a loyal servant; others find them annoying. From my readings, apparently brats can either become some of the most loyal submissives, or they leave once they become bored and tamed. If you are in a long-term relationship/ or marriage and you have a brat, they may never even think of leaving you, but you will have to endure their cheeky games. These games do not always mean flirting with someone else to get your attention, it might be as simple as knowing what your favourite underwear is and wearing it around the house while enforcing the safe word of red all day. The brat is testing your patience and you as leader must demonstrate that you are the leader who is in control, they said red, red means stop everything do not pass go, do not collect $200. If your submissive is wearing your favourite lingerie set, has done her hair just how you like it, is wearing your favourite scent of hers but says do not touch, how are you going to handle that. What will you do? All you want to do is take her right there, bend her over the kitchen table and drill your meat into her succulent life-giving hole, and she is putting a boundary up. How are you going to make her remove that boundary and beg for you to put your meat stick inside of her. Maybe you reverse the power of seduction and have her begging, “Please. Please. Please” but now you do not feel like her anymore, so you tease, seduce, and deny her for a couple hours. Imagine the kind of sex you would have if you both playfully danced with your boundaries respectfully for eight hours. On the first minute of that eighth hour you can almost guarantee that the submissive will be biting the pillow. The scenario above is just a basic example of how a bratting act can turn into something passionate & sexy. Other forms of bratting may be ignoring the chores for as long as possible to see what you will do or doing the chores but doing them half arsed and wrong deliberately; nagging; annoying you just to get your attention; disobeying your instructions. Some people find brats a lot of fun, others find them a pain in the arse. But I think to have fun in this life we all need to develop a little bit of playful cheek every now and then.
The Perfect Submissive – Oh what a submissive to have! Smart, capable, and ready to serve their dominant at any moment. They will follow the directions of their dominant without hesitation, they will do everything they can to please and provide for their dominant, and they are accountable for their own responsibilities. Every submissive has the capability to be a perfect submissive, but before anyone becomes the perfect submissive they must know that the dominate leading the way has their best interest at heart; would never betray them; would do anything to ensure the safety, wellbeing, and happiness of the submissive. They sit when instructed, they move when told, they are proud submissives, and they do whatever is necessary to keep their dominant happy because they know it will be returned tenfold. With the right dominant, this pair would be a house on fire with a bucket of gasoline being carried by helicopters to ‘extinguish’ the flame.
The Sadist Submissive – The dynamic behind a sadist submissive is a little complex for most nuisance kinksters to wrap their heads around, because they would inherently require a masochist dominant, and when you read sadist sub; masochist dom, you may find yourself in a little bit of confusion. I did at first. Without too much deep knowledge on this exact dynamic – sadist sub & masochist dom; I believe that the rolls would ultimately reverse during ‘play’. If you are experienced within this area, please educate me and all others reading by leaving a comment below.
The slave submissive – The name says it all; these submissives enjoy having everything dictated for them, relinquishing control and serving their master/ mistress to the fullest extent.
