diary of male escort Lexx Soule: Questionable Kinks: The Dominant & the Submissive (Part 1)
Before reading this blog take into account that the information contained within this literature is of a general & nuisance nature, and has been compiled through my own experiences sexually, psychologically, spiritually, and studies of human nature. Currently I am not a dominant, and I am not a submissive, I am not even a switch. I am currently just a bachelor who understands the fundamental basics of this dynamic and believe that the knowledge I have can educate people on the benefits of this lifestyle and relationship. As a heterosexual man I will at times use references of a heterosexual relationship, however the dominant & submissive relationship can be applied to all sexualities as it is a representation of leader & follower. Masculine & feminine.
This is an educational blog that has been tailored predominately for singles & people in monogamous relationships or aspiring to be in monogamous relationships. That being said if you have the emotional intelligence and believe you could transcribe this knowledge into a polyamorous relationship the principles outlined in this blog may still apply to your relationship desires. I will be discussing the difference between being a leader, a dominate man, and being a legitimate dominant with a submissive; how the dominant & submissive relationship dynamic brings order, direction, more freedom, and promotes development within each other; and how the dynamic can still be applied to a family household.
I do believe that a HEALTHY dominant, submissive dynamic can bring about the change people want within their relationships and lives. More fulfillment, more order, more direction, better communication, better sex, better connection, a better understanding of eachother, a lower rate of divorce, and a better education and knowledge of what sex really is.
The dominant and submissive dynamic basis itself around the traditional relationship system that one person leads and one person follows. Though unlike traditional relationship roles where the man is the leader and bread winner, and the female follows suit; within a dominant & submissive dynamic both males & females can play the role as the dominant and the submissive. Female dominants are referred to as ‘domme’s’; males referred to as doms; submissives are just subs.
With the popular narrative of equality that is pushed in today’s society, you may be wondering how and why anyone would want to submit to another person in a relationship sense. Why would anyone want to have another person direct them through different areas of life. Why would anyone want another person to order them around and tell them what to do. We have bosses, governments, and powerful people already telling us how to live our lives; why would someone want an individual that is close to them to do this as well. This all sounds like narcissistic behaviour to manipulate and control other people into our own perverted pleasures. So why was 50 Shades of Grey so popular? Did you pleasure yourself to the thought of Mr. Grey being that crazy about you? I know there is a hot debate about this book, but we are not going into that right now. Because when you have a HEALTHY, consensual, openly communicated, boundaries set dominant submissive relationship; you open yourself up to the best sex you & your partner(s) have ever had, you understand your responsibility within the relationship, and will grow into more mature, sexually conscious adults.
Just like previously mentioned in the blog ‘Questionable Kinks: The Sadist & The Masochist’. A healthy, consensual dominant submissive relationship requires boundaries and limits within the relationship. A good dominant is a leader, a good submissive is a respectful follower – respectful of themselves and their leader. As a submissive if you do not respect yourself, you open doors to being used, abused and having no boundaries to enforce; leading to hurt mentally, spiritually, physically, and sexually. Should you as a submissive not respect yourself then you will most likely attract a dominant who will not respect you and your boundaries. Throughout this blog you will see that on some levels the submissive holds the power. A submissive can say no, and a submissive has boundaries, if you as the dominant want your submissive to trust you to do the dirty, perverted things you like within the bedroom then you must listen to those boundaries. As a dominant you have a responsibility for your submissive, RESPONSIBILITY! Depending on your relationship and how much power you have agreed to exchange is how responsible you are. This could range from setting chores; sexual services; setting study schedules, side hustle schedules, enforcing your submissive to attend their hobbies, paying for said hobbies. Compared to most western world relationships, when you assume the role as a dominant you have more pressure to follow through on your words because this is what demonstrates your level of competency and leadership, and establishes the trust you and your sub need to explore the realms of sex. If you said you’re going to do something you will be expected to do it. If you said you were going to fuck, have sex, or make slow passionate love in a certain way or at a certain time then make it happen. If you said that you are going to take your submissive out for breakfast do not spend the previous night out partying if you know you will be mentally & physically unavailable. If a relationship, and or marriage is about responsibility and commitment to each other then why are there so many unhappy, unfulfilled, sexless, bored, lifeless couples. And why are the divorce rates so high. Because no one has a clue what their responsibilities are, and no one is having the dirty kink sex that they fantasise about. When you enter a dominant submissive relationship responsibilities must be talked about, boundaries must be talked about, safe words must be established. If there are no boundaries, if there are no on-going conversations, if there are no discussions of responsibilities then there a few red flags being raised. So far would you agree that the core basics of a dominant submissive relationship should be apart of a standard equal relationship? Open, honest communication; consent; boundaries.
Before we talk about a what separates a dominant & submissive relationship, Let’s look at a few different types of submissives and dominants.
