diary of male escort Lexx Soule: Let's Just Copulate (Part 2)
Put away the porn. We have already spoken about this during the blog ‘Sacred Sex’, and while porn has it’s place and some people have control of their vice, there are an awful lot that do not. If you’re watching extremely graphic porn videos like gangbangs or reverse gangbangs, extreme BDSM, fantasies that are unrealistic you are going to struggle being aroused when you have a real person in front of you wanting the most simple thing – or for some men becoming hyper aroused when you have a real human experience and finish too quickly. And if you are anything like what I was like when I consumed porn, you enjoy seeing someone attractive on your screen. If you are constantly masturbating to these hyper attractive woman, and hyper attractive men you may struggle with a range of different sexual complications when in the company of a real person who looks nothing like your last three-hundred-and-sixty solo orgasms. If you as a woman have been using a high intensity vibrator regularly on your clit and inside your vagina for a number of years, there is a high likelihood that you will struggle to become aroused from the physical touch of a real person. If you have been masturbating to ten out of ten ‘super models’ with giant, perfectly symmetrical tits, a perfect ass, tight waist, and tanned skin for the last God knows how long; and you then have an experience with a girl who may be a little thicker, one breast is slightly bigger than the other, and she has a couple scars, you may struggle to become erect. Maybe you’re a quick releaser and just need to masturbate for thirty seconds to have that post nut clarity after work, there is a high liklihood your practice will be preached and your thirty seconds will repeat itself in the bedroom. Quite recently I mentioned that I consume porn for training purposes; I have exercises that I do to increase various strengths, muscles, and sizes around my erogenous zone, and because I do not have a partner that I am regularly sexual with in my personal life porn is the easiest option when in need. Though as I edit this blog I am now two weeks without consuming any porn for such purposes, I simply use the power of my imagination. Due to my diet and daily supplements, I can maintain a healthy erection – if not, a stronger erection when training. I went clean from porn for about two & half, three years and during this process did not masturbate at all. I was dating someone for most of the time, and when I was not dating anyone I was not highly active. I can tell you firsthand about the problems associated with the over consumption of porn, the effect porn has on our brains and mindsets, and the effect it has on your relationships. If you have a partner(s), I now personally believe there is no reason anyone within the relationship should be consuming porn, while also having the broader view as to how & why the snake is eating it’s own tale. Put the porn down, learn how to excite, entice, seduce, romance, ravage, make love over a number of days, and fuck until you can’t fuck no more.
Okay, the dad advice is out of the way now.
Even during vanilla sex you can practice a range of different things to enhance the experience. As a woman you could moan deeply, as your man grunts. Nibble on your partner’s earlobe while you are body to body. Whisper dirty things in your partner’s ear (personal favourite). Learn how to pull & grab hair correctly. Learn how to hold someone’s throat correctly. Adjust the pace. Add a pillow. As the man you’re probably accustomed to doing most of the thrusting, let your woman move her hips and do some work from time to time. Learn to enjoy the sight of a sexy human giving you, or receiving your pleasure while staying in one continual position for five, ten, fifteen minutes. There are like ten variations of missionary off the top of my head, and there is an entire body to learn about and explore. We live in a time of such short attention spans that we become bored easily and crave ‘the new’ too intensely, everything was yesterday and tomorrow can’t come soon enough. At the same time everything has already happened. Look at fashion for example, nothing really goes out of style, it’s just the season that our phones and social media tell us it is. And while I understand there have always been ‘trends’, we live in a time where you can make the fashion of two seasons ago, your thing of today. This is the beauty and the art of vanilla sex; learning to do the timeless well and just keep things simple. Why change positions if it feels good for the both of you. Who is to say that you can’t stay in one position for twenty minutes if it feels great and no one is cramping. Obviously doing the exact same four positions in the exact same sequence, with the exact same intensity, every. Single. Time. You copulate. Will be boring. Learn a little sexual & emotional intelligence. For a lot of people, virgins, and those who may not have a large experience of sex; vanilla sex still requires you to put in work, vanilla sex still requires you to learn, but vanilla sex is just sex, and sex that doesn’t need extravagant thinking or copious amounts of time. When you get past the need to come all the time you can have five to ten-minute quickies at your convenience which build up the sexual tension and eventually, and theoretically give you the orgasm you desire. You’re practicing sexual transmutation and delayed ejaculation, do you remember the XXL balloon analogy I used in the ‘Sacred Sex’ blog. If you struggle to have even a two-minute quickie then there are exercises and things that you can do to improve. As the man the first thing you will need to assess is how quickly you ejaculate when you watch porn. If you are fixing your ‘needs’ with a one-minute quick fix and then struggling to last thirty-seconds in the bedroom that will most likely be a serious factor.
At the conclusion of this blog I will link some of the professionals that I have learnt from to aid in the skills to be a better in the bedroom. Read their work, contact them, and enrich your sex life. I understand and empathise with the fact that there are still complications for some people that prevent them from being able to enjoy plain old sex, and unless there is a medical interference, it shouldn’t be like that. To experience a good twenty minutes of simple vanilla sex should not be a commodity. Start slow, control your breathing, wear a condom, use some lube if need be
Most of my sexual experiences in life so far have been quite vanilla. Yes I’ve had sex in an adult cinema; jerked my cock for a sexting session for an entire day while on a trade site – obviously in privacy; I’ve had sex at a workplace with the bosses daughter; had a couple one night encounters; carried out a handful of BDSM scenes; practiced creating a multi hour tantric experience; received a blowjob in a festival cubical; I’ve masturbated into my hand and then rubbed them together; I’ve licked up my own seaman off tits and swallowed it – multiple times; I have drank female come straight from the pussy like you drink water straight out of a tap; and I’ve had sex with a woman while she was on her period. Compared to some people who made all of this happen the first week they lost their virginity - that’s an exaggeration obviously; I am quite tame. Then you have the other side of the spectrum where a lot of people have never even imagined half of what I just told you and think that I am the kinkiest, most wild person in the world. What I’m getting at here is that just because you have not mastered Shabari rope, or never had extremely kinky fuck fests, or never had deep, powerful, sacred sex sessions, does not mean you’re missing out. Maybe you do have your own personal kinky experiences and styles of love making that you wish to explore, and that is also what I would like to discursively elaborate here. If you want to experience being anal fucked by a foot that is completely normal. If you want to give a man a rim job (lick his asshole) that’s completely normal. You thoroughly enjoy sitting on someone’s lap holding them and slowly grinding yourself back and forth, that is completely normal. You want to use balloons for a range of different things that’s normal. I had a conversation with a girl who wanted to have sex in a bathtub while being covered in canned spaghetti. That’s normal. And what I mean by normal is that it is okay to want to try something a little different, a little out of the ordinary, what some may very well call strange. You might find their naughty pleasure strange and would never dream of trying it. And that’s part of our job as escorts, to help provide people with a safe space to explore those kinky & sacred experiences. Not all escorts will provide the experience you want though, some may not feel comfortable providing that service or have the tools to provide that experience in a safe and enjoyable way. The main point I am trying to make here is that just having sex, normal plain old sex, is what most people have, and it is really fun when you put the simple action steps into practice and become sexual & emotionally intelligent.
