diary of male escort Elliott Quinn: Human Consent: Embracing the Unknown
Imagine a couple craving a passionate encounter, but before they can start, their lawyers have to work out consent forms for every kiss, touch, and sigh. That’s the hilarious Fry and Laurie skit from the 1980s, showing how legal consent, rigid and overplanned, leaves everyone covered but the passion gone, the outcome certain, and disappointment imminent. Human consent is different: it’s the courage to dive into the unknown, knowing the outcome’s unclear but trusting your partner to hold you through it. I’ve learned that intimacy sparkles when you connect deeply, making every moment alive yet grounded. How do you find that trust that allows for the thrill of the uncertain?
Let’s talk.
Consent first starts with trust, and trust grows from time spent connecting. It’s through shared moments—a story over coffee, laughing on a walk, that you build something real. I remember an intimate moment with a friend that had grown out of deep conversation, and when our eyes met, suddenly it wasn’t just the physical at play—it was like peering past their body into a hidden universe, past the pain, the joy, the stories.That kind of trust lets you explore things; a kiss behind the knee or on the wrist, not knowing if it might spark or miss, but either way, you’re grounded and safe.
How do you create that soul-deep trust before intimacy?
When you connect deeply, you’re not just sharing space; you’re holding each other’s essence.Their longings, their fears, their desires—you sense what they need because of that connected bond. A sigh in those moments isn’t just a sound; it’s their vulnerability, their joy, tumbling free because they know you’re there with them.That’s the intimacy that goes beyond the physical.
How do you hold someone’s truth like that?
Recently with a client, after taking the time to truly connect, we ventured into intimacy together– her sighs and shivers showing she trusted me to guide her through waves of surrender and sensation. I was right there with her, caught up in the beauty of her joy, both of us sharing the thrills of that journey.
Barbara Carrellas (“Urban Tantra”) captures it like this: intimacy needs mutual trust, where you can say, “That’s not for me,” and hear, “Thanks for sharing, let’s try something else,” with no ego or judgment. That trust lets both of you surrender to the moment.
All this loops back to consent—saying yes to the unknown.
Intimacy means stepping into uncharted territory, where some things spark and others don’t. That takes trust in each other; to be honest if a touch glows or misses, being bold enough to say, “That was okay, but let’s try this,” without fear of judgment or hurt feelings. Unlike those Fry and Laurie forms that script away the passion, human consent is a living dance, woven together through glances, pauses, and shared understanding. It’s trusting someone to hold you as you explore the unknown, knowing they’ll honour your yes, your no, or your “OH more, please.”
The unknown is what makes intimacy human, brimming with possibility and risk. Human consent gives us freedom to explore the uncharted, venturing deeper into the mystery from a haven of trust and connection. Navigating this journey takes courage, time and the willingness to embrace the uncertainty in exchange for the beauty and fulfillment of what could be. Either way, this is a journey we can walk together.
