Canberra you kinky bitch……
It has been just over a year since returning to Canberra and what a delight it has been.
Canberra, seriously, you are the kinkiest city and I am here for it……. This time with my own private play space.! I have been away for a few years, and my name has changed and so I have decided to clear up some confusion and written this blog explaining where I have been and what I have been doing.
It really is fucking wonderful to be back in Canberra.
I first visited Canberra in 2012 and clearly enjoyed myself because I came back regularly for the following five years staying in various apartments dotted around Braddon. I used the name HM (if you know it, you know it) during this time, although you may have called me Mistress, Headmistress, or Miss. I loved this time in Canberra, exploring so many different kinks, co-creating the most enthralling, creative and twisted fetish scenarios with fun, enthusiastic and sophisticated players. I had been a fetish worker and spanking model in London from 2003 to 2011 and I was missing the play-scene in London; yet somehow, surprisingly, thankfully, Canberra came to the rescue. This city managed to have enough X-dressers, spanking enthusiasts, submissives, switches, role-play deviants, anal whores, traditional fetishists, creative kinksters and masochistic fetish players to keep this Mistress happy for years.
In fact you all kept me so satiated and enthusiastic about fetish play I thought I would never leave and continued to invest in my craft, attending fetish training seminars and workshops all around the world. I also completed my certificate in Sexological Bodywork in 2014 and my Certificate in Somatic Sex Education in 2016. I loved how this learning opened up an entirely new world that ran so comfortably alongside my fetish work. Sexological bodywork allowed me to support people experiencing erectile difficulties, pain during sex, trouble connecting to embodied pleasure, mismatched desire with a partner, issues with porn and so much more. I got to explore desire, pleasure, connection, embodiment, fantasy and all things sex and fetish in a whole new way. Working with people in this very different setting, in a more educational, coaching and therapeutic way was extremely enriching for me, and I think it made me an even better kinkster.
This work also opened up some opportunities in the ‘muggle world’ and I stepped back from fetish work a little (I still saw my wonderful Canberra regulars of course!) and decided to drop the name H.M. in an attempt for some anonymity required by my new career direction. I reverted back to my UK spanking name Zoe Montana, now Zoe M.
In 2019/2020 I spent 7 months in South Africa before sadly, my time was cut short due to COVID and I had to return to Australia. Like everyone else, my life slowed down and changed. For the first time in 20 years I did not play. I got a dog. I walked, gardened, finished my degree and made so many apple and rhubarb crumbles my friends and neighbours asked me to stop. I got off social media and started to read books again, I built a fence and remembered that I have always wanted to build a house. A mud brick cottage. For a moment in time I thought that perhaps my fetish days were over, that maybe I had slipped into sex work retirement without even noticing. But Canberra, once again you called, you kinky bitch. And I just couldn’t help but respond.
It was a femme domme party in November 2022 that did it. A small private gathering of kinksters just outside of Canberra. I arrived not sure what I was feeling or even if i should be going. But within moments of arriving I discovered sissy sluts whose bottoms desperately needed to be reddened, there were a few role-playing ‘schoolboys’ who just couldn’t keep it in their pants and required Headmistresses attention, a puppy who continued to make me smile even though ‘he really was very naughty’ and my own beloved slave. My beautiful slave, who I have known and played with for over a decade and yet had somehow not seen, touched or tortured for three years. To apologise I put him in chastity and swallowed the key.
I know it sounds corny but during those few days I felt like an artist remembering what it was to paint again. Fetish play is my creative outlet, sometimes I find D/S play to be so intellectually stimulating I feel on fire, and of course the whole experience is so emotionally connecting I feel grounded and hopeful. It is what I love to do and this funny little reunion reminded me of this.
And so, after a few little trips to Canberra, dipping my toe back into this work, once again hiring apartments and hotel rooms, I decided to actually commit to Canberra properly, to all you kinky fuckers. To show my commitment I have set up a private little play space hidden away where you and I can indulge, once again, or for the first time, in fun, sweet, simple, twisted, soft, hard, complex, slow, nuanced, deep, shallow, crazy fucking fetish fun!
This Mistress is back !!!
A few extra notes:
My play space in Canberra is private, used only by me. I, of course, have a few kinky playmates, men, women, sissy sluts who sometimes like to join us. But this play space is my personal kink sanctuary and not for hire.
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When I started exploring the fetish world in London over 20 years ago, both personally and professionally, I found myself surrounded by hot, experienced, sexy women in their 40’s. In those days the fetish and spanking worlds, or at least the corners I occupied were brimming with gorgeous, powerful mature women in their 40’s 50’s, 60’s and beyond and these women were respected, and ‘at the top of their game’. I was in awe of these women, I looked up to them, learnt from them, admired them and lusted after them. I watched them effortlessly hold a scene, their subs testicles and their subs heart with such grounded confidence, smiling as they allowed the tension to build while the erotic energy flowed through them. Honestly, I dont even have the words to describe the sex these women exuded, but I am sure some of you reading this know exactly what I am talking about. I knew that extra magic was not just skills needing to be learnt, but something that only came with time, experience, age. I desired these women, I wanted to sleep with them as much as I wanted to be them. I couldn’t wait to be them.
This was such a formative experience for me, and one of the exciting things about being back is that I get to be a fetish worker, a dominant, a Mistress in my 40’s. For a moment that I thought I might not get to be one of those women I watched 20 years ago. I am now 44, and the truth is, it feels as good as it looked back then. Having a few years break has actually been wonderful, and I am stepping back into play feeling alive, present, refreshed. I am a kind, perceptive and powerful dominant. I am horny, experienced, and wildly creative. I want to keep on exploring and playing, discovering who I am now. I look forward to sharing this experience with you.
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One of the other joys of being back is the many messages I have received from people taking their first steps into the world of fetish.
I am humble enough to admit that the fetish world as I knew it, has changed, is changing. It is a whole new world out there and I know that as much as I have to offer, I also have a lot to learn. Fetishes shift and change along with culture and I recognise that those approaching me now have different interests, desires and even motivations for wanting to explore bdsm, kink and fetish. I admit that over the last 12 months I have had to google more acronyms than in the previous 20 years.
Along with these acronyms, these kinky newbies have many questions and I often spend a lot of time responding one on one. So over the next few weeks I am going to do my best to answer these questions here, in this written format.
I will share my thoughts and views based on my fetish training, education and years of experience. I will be generous with my answers and welcome your insights as well. I would like this to be a conversation. I welcome your response, I want to hear your thoughts and ideas, and I want to understand what makes you curious about fetish. I want to understand what brings YOU to kink, to fetish. I am a traditionally trained fetish worker and some of my ideas might be old fashioned, if you are under 35y/o, I want to be challenged by you, tell me what I am blind to, what I am missing out on. I have heard hundreds of stories from people born in the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, I know how they, how we, discovered we were kinky, found fetish, and I know what the journey looks like. I know things are different, I can feel it, I experience it in the messages you send and the questions you ask, and I want to take the time to understand more. Please write to me, tell me your story.
For now though, back to basics, some of the questions I have been repeatedly asked and am going to do my best to answer in the coming weeks are:
“There are fetish sex workers out there that call themselves ‘Mistress’ all the time. Why do you call yourself a ‘Fetish Worker’ and just use your name Zoe, rather than ‘Mistress Zoe’?? How are you a Mistress and a fetish worker, aren’t they the same thing?”
“What is D/S?”
“When you create a fetish scene for a client is it different to fetish scenes created with people from the private fetish community? How does paying make it different”
“I am curious about fetish but not into all that hard stuff……….. I dont want anything toooo crazy……. ????”
”I want to come and see you but dont know what to ask for?”
”Do you do sex? Do you offer sexual services?”
That’s it for now. Thanks again Canberra for bringing me back to fetish.
(photo is of me taken after a recent play session. My chest is covered in wax, I got as much on myself as him. It just felt so damn good!)
