Yes, we did have chemistry
“I know we just met, but we had amazing chemistry and I would love to catch up with you on a more personal level”
We met, my eyes locked on yours and you felt like the wind had been knocked out of you.
My touch on your skin felt electric, our lips felt like they were made for each others. Our movements flowed so seamlessly, connected and perfectly in sync. Our bodies melted together in this perfect union of flesh, energy and passion.
Somehow our short booking felt like a lifetime of its own, the two of us existing in a bubble outside time, separate from the world.
“Who are you?” You asked me, or perhaps, “Why am I only meeting you now?”, or the cliché but succinct, “Where have you been all my life?”.
My face erupted into a smile as I blushed and instead of answering I pulled your face close and kissed you again, sparks flying. The magic. The magic of this moment.
You walked back into the world feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck and you swear you heard me sigh as I took my leave. You definitely did not misread that look of contentment on my face. And the way I touched you, held you, caressed you, there was a hunger to it, a feverishness of wanting. I wanted you.
You’re certain this immediate connection, this chemistry, was felt by me, how could it not be? Surely it wasn’t one-sided.
This sort of chemistry is so rare. When faced with it, you feel its important to seize it, see where it goes. Chemistry exists for a reason, maybe I am your soulmate or twin flame. Separate to this motivation is the need to just experience it again and again.
So you decide to shoot your shot and ask me out. And, inexplicably, I say no. WTF? You know you didn’t imagine this. We have something here. It’s bigger than both of us and it should be honoured. You’re confused, disappointed, perhaps even angry, depending on your built-in entitlement levels.
So did I feel it too? Yes, I probably did! It was exquisite and delicious and I loved it. Or maybe I didn’t! Maybe I was just doing my job very well, providing a high level of courtesanal seduction and wizardry.
My intention is that you feel that magic. Sometimes I feel it too, so it comes easy; other times I will cultivate the experience for you and manufacture the magic for both of us.
I thought it might be helpful to allow you to see behind the curtain, to see what kind of wizard I actually am.
True connection and chemistry is only possible between two (or more) people if each person truly shows up, and is present. If you are distracted, living inside your worries, anxieties or plans, you are not fully present in your body, in the moment.
When I spend time with you, I commit to the intention of fully showing up and fully feeling. I intend to keep my awareness on my body and on yours, and not on the external noise of the world. I intend to set aside my to do list and savour time with you. When you touch me, I place my awareness on where you are touching me, soaking in every sensation. I intend to put aside my insecurities, my judgements and my own anxieties. This is a form of what is known as embodiment. Yes, this is indeed, some Eckhart Tolle bullshit.
I have found that doing this makes every exchange more pleasurable and connective for me, I’m able to achieve orgasm easier (which you find hot) and it’s also just a very therapeutic experience for me. My job is to spend time with you on an intimate level, I’m taking this very seriously – making the most of our time, and making it as intimate as I can.
I am giving as much of myself to you as I possibly can, to allow you to fully experience me, but also so that I can fully experience you.
I can do this with anyone, and frequently do, but I’m only half of the equation. The magic happens when you also show up this way – focused on me, on us, our time, our moment, on the sensations in your body, letting go of the outside world, setting aside your worries for a moment. That’s when we experience interconnectedness and chemistry.
You are carrying this ability for connection and magic with you everywhere you go, and this is something that anyone can tap into, with anyone that is open to explore with them.
Okay but do you want to date me or nah? No, probably not. And I’m going to go on record here to say – you probably shouldn’t ask me, or any other sexwork provider, to date you, on the basis of chemistry. The question will only lead to awkwardness, and potentially to the death of our magic that you enjoy too much.
I’m an absolute whore for chemistry, and I’ve experienced it with enough different people to know that chemistry does NOT equal compatibility. So while we might vibe well physically, this does not mean that I want to date you. I thoroughly enjoy the connection for what it is, without tying it to meaning or a need for it to be more, to continue, or even to happen again. Here are some scenarios I have experienced:
- Mad chemistry but completely incompatible in other areas, leading to unhealthy relationships
- Mad chemistry ONE TIME then next time, nada
- Mad chemistry multiple times, then suddenly drops off
- No chemistry multiple times, then one time, absolute magic
- Chemistry that is only there if you’re high
- Chemistry that is only there if I’m super horny
Mind-altering fireworks is not enough for me to want to date you. In addition to this, here are the conditions that would make me want to date you, either in a casual or romantic state:
- Compatibility of values
- Compatibility of multiple interests and passions
- Physical attraction to you
- Feeling genuinely seen and known (which you cannot do in 30 mins)
- Feeling that you are interested and invested in me
- Feeling that my boundaries and I are both genuinely respected
- Acceptance – nay – Allyship of my job and all it entails
- Me wanting to take on a new partner or FWB in the first place
And look, this last one, its kind of important. I’m not going to just date someone because they seem cool and we vibe. If I date someone new, it would be because I’ve set an intention to do so, at a time that suits my life, my lifestyle and my desires.
And right now, this is not a priority for me. I am very content with my romantic life the way it is and already have so much love, light and chemistry. Maybe it will be on the cards one day, and I’ll remember that connection we had, and if you also met the above qualities, I might even reach out. But I’m not currently on dating apps, I am not currently taking applications, and I’m not going to make exceptions based on chemistry.
As much as I give of myself during our time together, you’re really only scratching the surface of who I am, and the rest of this image you have in your mind of me is illusionary. When you develop feelings for me, its not actually *me*, its feelings for the idea of me that you have created. I invite you to enjoy this mythical me in your mind, but please do not confuse it with me – we barely know each other.
The more time we spend together, the more we will get to know each other, and I enjoy developing our relationship this way and look forward to seeing you again, love spending time with you. But because I am not currently taking applications, you will need to book and pay for session.
If you’re experiencing delicious chemistry with me or with another provider, rather than trying to diminish this experience by trying to turn it into a personal relationship, I encourage you to savour the experience of its own accord. If you feel the experience was above and beyond what you were expecting, I suggest giving a tip, rather than asking for freebies.
Finally, to finish this topic out, I wanted to give a list of things that will reduce distractions and boost the chance of magic with any provider:
- Make us feel safe – if we are on guard, we cannot be fully present with you. So follow their screening procedures, don’t say creepy things, don’t cross boundaries. One major boundary crossing is continuing to press the issue of dating you after we have declined.
- Pay at the start of session, not at the end – otherwise we might be thinking “shit is he going to pay me?” the whole damn time, instead of focusing on you.
- Don’t attempt to negotiate rates – its crass, disrespectful and unattractive. I generally don’t take a booking at all after someone tries this because I know the sex will be a non-starter.
- Don’t attempt to negotiate our schedules – if we say the times we are available, then you ask for a time outside that, it feels disrespectful and possibly a powerplay. Powerplays will have us on guard, not connected.
- Be respectful when booking and use full sentences in your messages. If we flag you in our mind as a time-waster, we will be on guard. We will be waiting for you to be disrespectful in other ways, therefore not fully present with you.
- Ask consent before touching various parts of our bodies, ask how we like to be touched, and pay attention to physical cues. If you physically hurt a provider (even by accident) its going to pull us out of the vibe and then – say it with me – put us on guard. Our time should be co-created. If you just take over the whole thing and throw us around like a toy, we will not be able to connect with you. Watch my pussy tutorial if you would like to know how to touch her.
The general theme for all of the above is pretty clear – respect us as human beings, and also respect us as business owners. If you can follow these tenets, you’ll find we are able to get lost in the moment right along with you. Lets make some magic together!
