Unattractive Clients
FAQs: I’m worried you won’t find me attractive. Will you be uncomfortable during our session if you don’t find me attractive? How can you have sex with people you are not attracted to?
I think most sexworkers would answer this in a similar way. This is our job and we don’t care about how attractive you are, any more than your hairdresser or your accountant would.
I would say that I’m a little more invested in having great sex with you than your accountant is though. I enter each booking with the intent to derive as much pleasure as I can out of our exchange. While this is my job, I’m lucky enough to love what I do and it is important that I feel comfortable, so I appreciate your concern.
But your physical appearance is not a factor here.
l fall on the demisexual spectrum and am rarely physically attracted to strangers. I need intellectual and/or romantic investment first, physical attraction comes later.
I have a very high sex drive though and don’t want to go without, so have plenty of experience fucking people I felt no attraction to in my personal life. The way you look has no bearing on how good the sex will be. The way they treat me does.
If you don’t respect my time or my boundaries, I will find you wildly unattractive and will not want to fuck you. In fact, I won’t. I am so invested in enjoying my bookings, that I will turn down bookings from people who don’t text me right, and will kick you out and block you if fuck up in the room. My standards for communication are very high.
Its okay to be shy and nervous. It’s not okay to be an asshole, a time-waster, a rate-negotiator, pestering me to do things I’ve said I don’t do, or to not read my ad. Read the ad! Its so hot and sexy when you read the ad. Gets me so wet baby when you peruse my website and learn everything you need to know instead of asking me to take the mental load when I’ve already put in so much effort.
I’m being completely serious here. Experience shows me that how you text translates directly to how you treat me in the bedroom. When someone takes the time to write a proper enquiry, with all the information I need laid out, and a few compliment thrown in, I start thinking about how that will translate to the way they will fuck and I look forward to getting to meet them.
Physically, I do not care in the slightest about your weight, height, gender, race, age (18+ obviously), how able-bodied you are, if you are sporting an injury, the amount of hair on your head or balls, or the number of visible abs you have. I do not care how strong you are, unless your intention is to pick me up and carry me around, if so, yes that’s fabulous and impressive, please show off your special skill (but ask for consent first).
My icks include poor hygiene, bad breath, and misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, whorephobic and patriarchal world views. I provide shower facilities and mouthwash to combat the first two, and ask that you not discuss politics and religion to avoid the rest.
I have experienced attraction towards clients before. Usually it’s when we start animatedly chatting about mutual interests, that something will spark. Its never to do with their appearance. Conversation is the ultimate aphrodisiac for me. But if you can’t think of anything to say, I also enjoy nipple play.
I do not subscribe to the beauty standards that the media and patriarchy peddles. If that is the stick you have been measuring yourself by, you should work on letting that go – it’s a bunch of bullshit. You have been lied to. People are attracted to all sorts.
With regards to my demisexuality, my lack of attraction also includes celebrities. I can’t relate when people talk about how hot some actor or actress is. Who is my favourite Hemsworth? I don’t know, I haven’t met them, how could I know? It feels…objectifying. Objectification makes me uncomfortable (unless you want to go all the way). There are a few exceptions, I can build attraction for a well written tv or movie character if there is intellectual or emotional investment there.
