escort diary® of Avani Grace

How can sex with clients/escorts be healing?
How can I avoid dissociating from my body and going on autopilot during a booking?
How can I honor the pace that my pussy/cock/nervous system needs to relax and open without ruining the mood?
How can I increase sensitivity and pleasure in my pussy/cock?
How can I get out of my head and into the pleasure of my body?
How can I reduce and avoid UTI’s, thrush, menstrual pain, stomach problems etc?

All of these questions and many more have come up for me and my clients in my journey of sex work.. And i think it’s safe to say that most of us who desire to live a healthy, embodied and pleasurable life feel the same!

In my time off over the past year i have delved deep into studying Holistic counselling, The Feminine Mysteries, Embodied Intimacy, Men, Birth trauma, Tantra and what it means to be a devotional woman..

One common thread that I have noticed throughout all of these studies and immersions.. Is that How we do one thing, is how we do everything!

How we make love/have sex, is how we do LIFE!

Yeah… let that soak in.

And ask yourself.. Am i satisfied? Do i speak my needs or just aim to please?
Do i let myself surrender deep into my unfiltered, raw, ecstatic pleasure - or do i put on a show because maybe if i let go.. It will be too much? Too wild? Maybe even ugly?
Do i think that my pleasure is not as important as my clients because they are paying me?
Do i think my pleasure isn’t a priority at all? As long as they are happy right?
Do i wait until i am dripping wet to be entered - or do i disconnect from myself to accommodate another?
Do i seek validity and identity through my sexuality? Through my status/money/ability to provide?
Do i make space inside to listen to my deepest desires and fantasies - or do i care too much about how people may perceive me and i push them down?
Do i hide behind the comfort of my kinky wild parts in order avoid my vulnerability?
Do I connect from my heart - or do I fuck and over stimulate myself just to feel SOMETHING? .. Can i even feel my heart? And when i do.. How comfortably can i sit with it? And hear it.. Do i run away? Make a joke? Crank up the volume on other things and drown out the melody of it’s longings?

Can you see yourself in any of those questions? And when you do see your own habits and patterns.. Can you identify how that translates into your personal life?

How you have sex is how you do life.

/////////////

I’m going to get real with you all, and drop a confronting Truth.

I remember when i first started this work, I knew in the back of my mind that i was doing a disservice to my pussy and my heart by closing off to myself in order to submit to my desire, chase my pleasure and fuck people i didn’t know, and who didn’t know me.. And when we dissociate from our pussy as she is being penetrated and fucked, this is what causes trauma. Trauma in your pussy is what contributes to the UTI’s, infections, painful periods, numbness, need for more and more intensity just to feel, chronic fatigue, immune and stomach disorders etc..

I’ve been on a deep journey of healing this SELF inflicted sexual trauma (because guess what - when you dissociate from your pussy, when she is not ready to be penetrated and you allow it - you are raping yourself! Yep. The body can and does receive the feeling being raped even if you justify it in your mind, even if you love the person, or want it. When she’s not ready - she is not ready sisters.

And let me tell you.. the revolutionary act of honoring the pace you need to be dripping wet and hungry to be penetrated.. Will change your life and your health immensely.

So as I've been on this deep journey the past year.. And as i return back to sex work.. I have been sitting with the question, how can i avoid recreating this disharmony? How can I honor the health and sacredness of my pussy, AND honor my desire and soul calling to do this work? Because the reality is.. I fucking love my work! I love it so much! And i don’t believe that knowing this information means that i need to stop working! It just means the way in which i work shifts to be in alignment with my values and integrity.

** And i also want to acknowledge that every one works differently, everyone loves, desires and receives pleasure from sooo many different things! There is no right or wrong. Only what feels like a resonant YES in your body, and only you know that.

//////////

So.. how do we integrate these 2 things? Sacredness and Sex Work? The work that is the OLDEST of professions and acts of Service - Temple Priestesses dated back thousands upon thousands of years ago!

Well.. i could write about that in great depth but i’d be borrowing a lot of your time for that haha so today i’ll just highlight some simple things.. Because It doesn’t mean everyone needs to go study tantra and become some epic sexual goddess (however you can totally do that too lol)


1) Taking time at the start of bookings to do some eye gazing together, place a hand over each others heart, allow your eyes to meet, welcome any discomfort that may arise from this, synchronize your breath and commit to seeing this person in front of you beyond their physical exterior and personality construct, even 5 minutes of this will make a big impact.
After you can even share with each other how that felt and if anything came up for you.. This part especially can be a beautifully intimate and special way to build connection.

2) Take pauses during sex if you need - when you notice the energy moving too fast for you that you notice yourself dissociate from your body and go into performer mode, bring back some eye contact, slow yourself, give them a smile and let them know you want to slow down a bit, smooth out your breath, tune into the subtleties in your body and movement, use your hands to massage your breasts and other parts of the body to bring back sensation into the physical and out of the mind

3) Pussy/cock worship - so amazing! Taking a few minutes to honor your lovers genitals by massaging them, eye gazing with them (yep), inviting them to breathe down into their genitals (when you breathe into a body part, you are bringing LIFE there), and the key to the WORSHIP part is to do all of this from a place of GIVE, not to receive, even your own gratification or pleasure, it’s all for them - and really encourage them to soften, relax and receive. Remind them ‘this is all for you’
Even 10 minutes of having someone worship you and allowing your body and nervous system to rest is an AMAZING way to open up to more pleasure to move through you

4) Honor the pace of your Pussy - commit to communicating to your lover what you need to open and be turned on so you can be so juicy and wet to the point that your pussy literally gobbles him inside of you upon entry! Yummm
(Important note - Men WANT to know these things! They want to know how to be a better lover and how to give you the most pleasure, and when you don’t honor this in yourself, they think what they are doing is okay! And if you fake it, you don’t help anyone.. You are helping us ALL when you speak your needs and take responsibility for your pleasure)

5) Erotic Dance offering - Mmmmm! Erotic dancing is such a beautiful way to soften and open the body, to get energy and eros moving and It is also a super special gift to offer the one witnessing you which creates strong polarity, desire and connection.. which is perfect foreplay! Have fun with it and don't take it too seriously.. Dance as if you are making love to your own body and allowing someone to witness that


And lastly another important part I want to add is that a vagina is receptive, and a penis is (obviously) penetrative, so this applies energetically.
A big reason I love to connect from a place of presence, vulnerability, love and resonance is because i know that i am being penetrated with, and receiving loving, even nourishing energy!
So by applying these things.. You can hugely altar the frequency of energy you are taking in, which as i said then also contributes to minimizing the painful/unregulated periods, infections, fatigue etc etc... so important! Work doesn’t have to be as exhausting as it may be for you now.

And as i said before… Men want to know these things god damn it! They really do. They want to know how to be the best lovers possible because they love making us feel good!
They want a juicy, vibrating, pulsating wet pussy just as much as you do! Don’t deny them of this lol
Please take the time to guide them to understand your authentic pleasure.

And please know that you are so WORTHY of the love and pleasure you desire… everyone reading this!

Thanks for dropping in..
Til next time

Avani xo

click to view my profile page