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Strong Women Rock

I've always been attracted to strong women. I mean, I know that everyone is strong in their own way, and being quiet and strong is no better or worse than being loud and strong. But for whatever reason, I love assertive, strong women – the type who aren't afraid to be heard, and are fine with stepping on a few toes to get what they want. I love the type of woman who decides what she stands for and...

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'So, um, how does it work?': The anatomy of a BDSM, Kink, or Fetish session

One of the most frequent questions I get from newcomers to kink is often asked sheepishly: 'How does it work? What happens in a session?' It's a hard one to answer, because the specifics really depend on the activities discussed, the tone of the session, and where the session occurs, but for those nervous newbies who are wondering, I'll try to explain the skeletal basics of what to expect from a B...

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The Perfect Escort Date

This week I’d like to talk about dating. I mean professional dating, of course - the time taken to get to know someone, whether a client or an escort, before getting intimate.The reason this has come up is that I’ve been booking a lot of ‘get-to-know-you coffee dates’ lately, and it has been a rewarding experience. I’ve met a lot of interesting people and had fascinating conversations! I have has...

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The Role of Conventional Sex in Unconventional and Kinky Intimacies

Sexuality, and the sex industry, is an extremely broad and diverse field. In my decade in the industry, I’ve encountered as many ways to do sex as I have people who do it. Moving into a professional BDSM practice over the last few years has expanded that even more. Kinky play and sexuality makes use of so many different approaches to sensation and sex that ‘traditional’ sex - the genital kind - be...

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Everything Butt: The Joys of Anal Play

One of the most popular requests I receive as a BDSM and kink service provider is from men who want to experience anal play. Sometimes I’m surprised that this type of play is still thought of as ‘kinky’, because it’s such a common practice, but it still seems to be riddled with taboo. I enjoy the many opportunities I get to address and normalize this type of play, and to guide people into their fi...

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Getting Fit for Sex

I was having a chat with a really lovely client this week and the topic of conversation turned to exercise. We were sitting in a café in Carlton drinking the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had, and eating apricot Danishes. You might gather from the previous sentence that I’m not a health fanatic  – I enjoy the finer things in life, and nothing comes between me and a bar of chocolate! However I...

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Mindfulness

Here I am, writing this month’s first blog article. It’s hard to get my brain going in Winter; also I’m frustrated because it’s so cold that my fingers are getting stiff even while I’m typing this. It’s hard to find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning when it’s really cold. I’m sure other Melbournites feel the same – the streets seem quieter than usual and the queue is shorter at the c...

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Sex Work Saved My Life

[trigger warnings: depression, suicide]This is a fairy-tale that starts off with a nine-to-five job and ends with sex work.Don’t worry, I’m not about to force some indigestible moral tale upon you. We’re all used to watching TV and going to the movies and seeing hookers end up shot or beaten or reformed. That’s all garbage. I promise that this story really does have a happy ending – no pun intende...

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Ties that Bind

When we think of bondage, we tend to think of it as a utilitarian sort of practice, its purpose being to restrict or prevent another person’s movement or escape. In that situation, it’s pretty clear who’s boss, which is very appropriate within the structure of a Dominant / submissive roleplay.There are many types of bondage - some physical, others more symbolic - and those of us who practice BDSM...

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Sex Tourism: Spotting Sex Work Around the World

I’m a keen traveller and also an amateur sex-work anthropologist: I love investigating the signs of escorting wherever I go. My most recent trip was a journey around the United Kingdom. Half my time was spent driving about the countryside in a Honda (I was tempted to rent a convertible and relive Top Gear but common sense prevailed). I also saw Scotland (it’s cold) and a little of London too....

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