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The Devil is in the Details

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I got a colouring in book for my birthday earlier this year. It is one of those ones designed for adults, with thousands of tiny little spots and lines to fill in. I can spend hours on squinting up close at the page; once I start, I can’t stop until I’ve filled in every gap to perfection (I was good at colouring in at school too!)

Similarly, when I go to work, focusing on the details of a rendezvous can take literally hours. It’s the reason I get so frustrated when someone cancels at the last minute, and why I more for the first hour of a booking. The preparation for leaving the house is substantial – hair, skin, makeup, attire, jewellery, not to mention the right toys and supplies.  I know that my clients notice and appreciate the effort. After all, escorting gives men the chance to meet the kind of woman that doesn’t cross their paths every day: the woman who makes an effort to look sexy for them and is always in the mood for playtime.

I can’t be sure which details are the crucial ones for my clients. What they notice or appreciate depends entirely on the individual. But people certainly do notice, especially up close and personal. I always worry that if my shoes don’t match my dress, or my hair is out of place, or if one of my nails is broken, that it will destroy the fantasy for them.

It’s not just about physical appearance. Like all people, escorts have good days and bad days. Nothing dramatic of course; maybe I just didn’t sleep as well as I should, or had a hard session at the gym, or perhaps a friend’s worries are on my mind. Maybe I feel like quiet sex, and the day’s appointment calls for raunchy sex. Maybe I feel like being a clown, and my booking calls for being slow and serious. When one piece of the puzzle isn’t right I worry that my clients aren’t getting my best possible service.

I have a theory: people have a tendency to think about their lives in a ‘leaky boat’ sort of way, or a ‘construction site’ sort of way. When your life is a ‘leaky boat’ you’re always struggling to stay afloat but holes keep appearing in your carefully-made plans. You are in a continual state of tension, trying to patch up your imperfections in order to keep travelling with maximum speed. Every problem is a failure, and problems tend to crop up more often than you can solve them!

When I’m thinking in a ‘leaky boat’ way, I notice everything that I’m doing wrong. I feel that I’m not young enough, or feminine enough, or enough of a good businessperson. I stress out because I can’t fix everything at once, and I worry that I’m going to capsize if I don’t measure up to everyone else’s standards.

If you live the ‘construction site’ way, your life is being built from the ground up. You start with very little and add to it, perhaps working from a plan or perhaps just attaching new things, stepping back and thinking ‘does this work?’ Your life is a creation, and you’re committed to refining and expanding it until the day you die.

Sometimes I remember to take a step back and look at what I have built over the past few years. I have managed to stay afloat as an independent escort, collecting an amazing network of friends and clients who all support each other. I’ve had some incredible experiences and made incredible things happen for other people too.  My construction site is complicated but industrious. Not everything fits but I’m always growing and getting better.

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