Sunburn and Job-Seeking
Welcome to the new year! I know it's a little cliched, but I find that January is a good time to reflect on the past year, if only because it's so quiet that I don't have to worry about my train of thought being interrupted for a couple of weeks. While I'd love to be in the Whitsundays spoiling my gothic complexion it's more likely I'll just be sitting on my balcony for a couple of weeks with a bottle of red.
I'm also writing a new CV. Not to say I'm planning on leaving the sex industry or anything - I just like to keep it up to date in case anything interesting comes along during the traditionally slow months of January and February. It's frustrating that I can't list my escorting work on my resume - there are so many skills in sex work that are transferable to other types of business.
Despite the fact that I'm pretty accomplished in other areas of my life, sex work has been the first job I've ever had in which I felt truly confident. I’ve been thinking a lot abut why this might be so, and have come up with a few possibilities.
Nobody is holding me accountable except myself.
Being a business owner is a blessing and a curse. On one hand, there is no boss breathing down my neck - I'm my own boss! On the other hand, I need to take responsibility for everything that happens with my business. If I'm not doing well financially, or if I screw up, there's nobody else to blame. Having to take direct responsibility lessens my fear of under performing because I know exactly what my requirements are. Rather than banging away at a keyboard and hoping I'm doing the right thing, I know exactly what the 'boss' expects.
There's no universal standard to worry about.
I know that there is a tendency for escorts to be a more preoccupied with beauty simply because how
we present ourselves is a big part of our service. But on the whole we realise that our clients are very diverse and that there is someone for everyone no matter their style or appearance. I find escorting is much more about doing things my own way - finding ways to bring my own personality into my
interactions with people. The way I work feels right for me, because I've fitted the work to my personality and not the other way around.
I can always tell if I'm doing a good job.
I'm a very emotionally-motivated person - I care more about making people happy than making sales or
earning money. Because I can see (and touch) the people I work with, it's easy to tell if I'm doing a good job. Clients know when they aren't getting what they need, and it tends to be really obvious if they’re unhappy! And because I'm right there in front of them, I have the opportunity to fix the situation if there's something that isn't working for them.
Sex is everyone's responsibility.
We all know how consumerism works. You're unhappy and need to buy stuff to feel better, right? A lot of business revolves around convincing people to buy things that they don't necessarily need. Sex work can't function in this way, because it's deeply wrong to try and push anyone into doing stuff with their bodies that they haven't consented to. If I'm spending time with a client, there has to be a really clear agreement from their side that they want the service and also a clear agreement from me that I’m happy to provide it. I never have to worry that I'm selling anyone stuff they don't want!
I think most of the above attitudes could apply to other types of work, if I people were really committed to making the job work for them rather than the other way around. What do you guys think? How much do you make yourself your own boss? Do you fit your work to your personality? Are you getting the right sort of consent and feedback from your customers to keep you feeling fulfilled? If something amazing comes up then I may consider it, but I don't think I'll ever find another role that ticks as many boxes as escorting does for me.