I've always been attracted to strong women. I mean, I know that everyone is strong in their own way, and being quiet and strong is no better or worse than being loud and strong. But for whatever reason, I love assertive, strong women – the type who aren't afraid to be heard, and are fine with stepping on a few toes to get what they want. I love the type of woman who decides what she stands for and will stand up for herself even when things become awkward. I love the type of woman who radiates self-assurance.

It's hardly a surprise then that I would be drawn to the fetish scene at an early age - BDSM has no lack of assertive chicks! I've been privileged over the years to be able to observe them at close quarters, to drink and dine with them, to talk about kink and feel touch of their hands or whips. I have travelled overseas for fetish conferences and met people in the international 'scene' who seem more like 'my people' than the ones I know back home.

The kink scene is a great place for people to nurture and develop their own sense of personal freedom. Practicing being strong and capable becomes so much easier when you have a safe space and a supportive community! Mastering the skills of BDSM leads to increased confidence, responsibility and self-assurance. It also gives a lot of insight into the psyche of the average human: we are all scared and vulnerable creatures with needs and desires that can't always be freely satiated.

So who's my strong-woman crush at the moment? Undoubtedly the answer is Gala Vanting, the  mistress of many talents who's known Australia-wide and internationally as a purveyor of kink. Although we've lost her to travelling for the past few months, she was back in town last week and we celebrated with a fabulous no-holds-barred love-triangle kink session with one of my favourite clients. It was such fun to hand my client over to her care, see her take charge and command his enjoyment in a way that is truly mesmerising.

She's in town for a while longer, and we plan to fit as many juicy play sessions in as possible. Thank goodness for strong women – they really make life worth living.