Last month I wrote a Scarlet Blue article about fine dining. It was fun to show you my 'sophisticated' side. But like all women I'm a multi-faceted individual; when it comes to food, it's not always about linen napkins and fine wine. This month I'd like to talk about my more messy encounters...those times when food has found its way into my sex life.

The phrase 'food sex' may conjure up visions of those candy g-strings they sell in adult shops...That's not what I'm talking about. (Although I did once try to eat one  that I'd received as a party favour. I ate it in front of the TV after I had run out of more conventional candy. It wasn't very impressive.)  My first sexy food encounter involved a regular lover, his rather impressive member, and some black forest cake. I hope he reads this and gets a kick out of it because I have never had a more delicious, er, slice of baked goods. My regular clients know I have a sweet tooth so I'm often presented with chocolates and candy. I remember one incident in particular: a gentleman spent the night before our booking hand-dipping strawberries in chocolate as an afternoon snack. Never before have I seen such diligence. Most of them ended up on my naked body, some in places that were quite tricky for him to reach considering he wasn't using his hands!

Chocolate is great for sexy play. You can buy varieties in adult shops that are designed to be used on the body, but personally I like to make my own melted chocolate. (Pro tip: if you add some vegetable oil to the mix, it won't solidify as easily at room temperature.) For decoration, my preference is Koko Black or Haighs. They are beautiful to look at on a naked body of any gender, and very rich so that a little goes a long way. The budget-conscious may also like to visit the baking aisle of your local supermarket, where a dazzling array of cake adornments are available.

Sometimes things take a turn for the messy. Have you heard the term 'sploshing'? It's a form of sexual fetishism (also known as WAM, or Wet and Messy). Sploshing involves the generous application of substances onto a willing person, the more the better. Common foods used include cream, raw eggs, milk, pudding, chocolate sauce, baked beans, peanut butter and cake batter. Smearing, wiping, slapping, throwing, and drizzling are all acceptable methods of application. I don't know if I'm a WAM fetishist per se, but I certainly have tried my hardest. I've had brandy custard poured all over me, been covered in whipped cream and also tried my hand at painting with Ice Magic. (The Ice Magic incident occurred in Winter and unfortunately it was too cold, so it got stuck in the bottle and wouldn't come out.)

I think food play works for me because it has a lot of novelty value. It's fun to be naughty and make a mess of someone's sheets (as long as you're prepared to clean up afterwards). It's a taboo, a sexual boundary that's dangerous to cross - didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food? And of course I do love sweets too, so it's an excuse to chomp, lick and roll through a variety of delicious items that are normally off the menu.

There are some safety considerations to be aware of. Some places on the body are simply not designed to have food in them. I once accidentally pushed whipped cream up a boyfriend's nose and he complained of weird smells for weeks. Ladies often run into trouble when using food in their intimate areas: sugary substances in the pussy can interfere with its fragile ecosystem, resulting in itchy problems. It's best to wash your 'bits' really thoroughly right after play, and avoid putting food anywhere that you might have trouble cleaning afterwards. 

And there are also practical considerations. If you're going all-out, invest in plastic drop sheets of the sort used to protect floors during painting. They are available cheaply from the hardware store and it's pretty easy to tape them to the floor or cover the mattress. If you're doing a bit of light erotic food play, with the expectation that your partner will lick it off your naked body (sounds hot doesn't it?) I'd recommend - from experience - that 'more is less'. It's easy to get a tired tongue, or to get really sick of chocolate sauce, if too much is applied.

Keep it safe, and keep it fun. We want food in the bedroom to be sexy, not a chore.