guest blog

No Pain, Much Gain: BDSM is much more than just pain.

Share this...
When you hear the term ‘BDSM’, the first images that come to mind are often ones of whips and chains, black leather and steel. They invoke a certain darkness, severity, coldness - and quite often are read as being about pain or heavy power play. This, traditionally, is the SM aesthetic, and it’s still very much a part of the BDSM scene. But kink and BDSM play goes well beyond these tropes, and myself and many of my colleagues play in a way that often neglects those things altogether.

One of the things that people often say to me when they contact me wanting ‘vanilla’ or ‘straight’ (i.e. sexual) services is ‘you seem really nice and I’d love to session with you, but I’m not into pain’. As though that was the only thing on offer or the only way that BDSM can be expressed. So I want to dispel that myth, and invite those pleasure-seekers out there to consider what kink has to offer.

There’s a lot contained within the BDSM acronym. The individual letters can stand for any of the following words: bondage, domination, discipline, submission, sadism, masochism…and the list goes on. There’s only really one combination of terms that actually has anything to do with pain: sadism / masochism (the giving and receiving of pain, respectively). So there’s a whole bunch of room in those other words (and within S/M, but that’s a bit of an ‘advanced’ conversation) for a whole lot of pleasure and no pain whatsoever!

My particular take on BDSM is that it’s about intimacy and the give-and-take of power and / or sensation. It’s also about trust, honesty, and curiosity. And within a container created of these qualities, the possibilities are endless and can be explored with or without power play, with or without pain. A simple look at any professional BDSM practitioner’s list of session offerings will include things like bondage (with cuffs or rope, for example), sensory deprivation (blindfolds, hoods, etc - temporarily sacrificing one sensory input for the benefit and increased sensitivity of the others), orgasm control (‘edging’, for example - Google it!), anal play, roleplay, and more. Sessions can incorporate the physical, the psychological, or both. You can meet as equals, choosing to simply take the role of giver or receiver of sensation, or you can explore the experience of playing a dominant or submissive role, and the tone of that roleplay can be as light or severe as you negotiate with the practitioner.

I suggest BDSM play for anyone who might consider them to be hedonists or pleasure-seekers in general. BDSM play can offer a great deal of sensuousness and intimacy. Particularly the way in which I approach play, which places a great deal of emphasis on things like connected breath, eye contact, verbal and other feedback, and shared physicality. It’s also a space in which you can really be taken on a journey by someone who has ideally invested time, energy, and often money in skilling-up for their particular offerings.

The other important thing to note is that a BDSM session will be built upon negotiation and consent. Kink practitioners take time to find out what you’re interested in and what level you’re playing at. And if they don’t, find another one! It seems to me that a lot of people who’ve never had a BDSM session expect that there’s a ‘standard service’ that is necessarily going to be either too severe or not ‘extreme’ enough for them, which causes them to miss out entirely. I can assure you that none of my colleagues have a ‘standard’ service - kink is just far too diverse and specific to ever get away with that! So every session is tailored and calibrated to your own interests and your experience level.

If you still don’t believe me, try a session. You’ve got nothing to lose and a whole lot of interesting experiences to gain! If one particular type of play isn’t for you, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of others to try. And all of that can be done within your own boundaries, and with whatever intensity of pleasure or pain you desire.
SCARLET BLUE.
INDEPENDENT ESCORTS AUSTRALIA
TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR USE OF SITE
By clicking “AGREE AND ENTER” below, you confirm that you are over the age of 18 years and have read, understood and accept the Terms and Conditions for use of this website. Please click here to read the Terms and Conditions.