How to Make an Excellent First Impression
Many of the blog articles I write for Scarlet Blue are designed for the new and inexperienced. I try to put some information out on the web that will help people navigate the world of sex work – and hopefully make my job a little easier when they decide to make a booking.
But just because I dumb things down a little, please don’t think I make any assumptions about your maturity! I have a good deal of respect for the people who take the time to look at my blog. Over time I’ve received a lot of great feedback. It seems that the readers who seek out information on escorting also take any advice they receive very seriously: the people who actually care, also put the effort into finding out what they need to know.
With that in mind, I decided to spend some time this month speaking to those clients and punters who have a little more knowledge and experience. You guys (and girls, and couples) deserve some attention! This article addresses a few ways I feel you can be, not just acceptable, but exceptional. What makes you a great catch from my perspective? Here are a few points…
Know Why it Matters
Why do you need your escort to think well of you? It’s the same reason you never insult your waiter, and the reason you always follow your doctor’s advice. Sex workers are professionals, but we are also people like any other service provider. The more I like and trust you, the better service you will receive.
Sex is a very emotional undertaking and it’s hard for me to have good sex with someone who has behaved in an off-putting manner leading up to (or during) a booking. I will try of course, but I’m only human. Just as I will try my utmost to smooth the way for you throughout the encounter, I appreciate your efforts to help me feel relaxed and comfortable.
Organising an escort date is a bit like orchestrating a theatre production. You’ll need to have dates, costs, participants and scripts organised beforehand. For us, that means the day, time and hotel you would prefer. The above details must be given to me before I can discuss a meeting seriously with you. If you’re not sure about the date, time or location I may assume you haven’t properly thought things through. Don’t worry, if I’m not free on the date you request then we can talk about other times you might be available.
More significantly, I’d also like to hear about what sort of service you had in mind (girlfriend experience? Dinner date? Fetish fun?) If you have absolutely no idea then that’s fine – even just a vague need is fine (‘I’d like to relax’ or ‘I want to explore’). I can then work with you to fill in the details.
Although I prize honesty in any interaction in life, in the bedroom it takes on a special significance. Sex is very intimate, regardless of whether it’s with a lover or a stranger. Putting up emotional barriers by telling mistruths will only serve to damage your experience.
I understand that some clients might prefer to use a different name for privacy reasons, which I feel is reasonable. I also think that the details of your private life are yours to share or not as you choose. I’m talking more about emotional honesty – asking for what you want and giving truthful feedback about what you do and don’t like. Be yourself. Understand that I’m here to spend time with your real self, and it’s not necessary to pretend to be anyone else.
Also, if there are any services you really want but are afraid to ask for it’s better to be upfront rather than popping the question halfway through the booking. I know it can be hard to ask (especially for some of the more interesting fetish numbers) but it’s very unsettling to be asked for something unexpectedly, that could have been planned for beforehand.
Understand the Transaction
At the end of the day I am a service provider – I’m here to deliver an experience that meets your needs. It’s a job I find incredibly satisfying. It can be hard for some guys to relax into their role as a receiver, and often they are really concerned that I ‘have a good time’. Or they may say ‘Let’s do whatever you want to do.’ That concern is great, but if it overrides the booking then it puts a lot of pressure on me and my performance of sexual pleasure for your enjoyment.
I appreciate the sentiments, and I always have more fun with clients who see my pleasure as being important too. However don’t lose sight of your own goals. I’m perfectly capable of having a good time, and I will never do anything with a client that I don’t enjoy. (I’m also very happy to ask for the things I want!) Please don’t try to make it all about me though. You need to receive as well as give, and you need to know what you want otherwise I can’t give you the best experience possible.
Respect My Boundaries
Regardless of whether I have known a client for five minutes or five years, there is always a connection there that’s significant. Spending intimate time with someone creates a bond that’s really valuable to me. Over multiple encounters, that worker-client relationship can become really significant for both of us. The important thing to remember is that it’s still a worker-client relationship.
Keep your questions about my life friendly and conversational (‘what’s your opinion on….?’) rather than personal (‘how well do you get along with your parents?’) Likewise, I would never question you about you relationship with your wife, or where you work, or any other information that’s not relevant to our time together. If anything is shared, it needs to be offered rather than asked for. Asking for personal information makes me feel as though you may have forgotten the nature of our relationship.
As times goes on, the connection does become more personal and more is offered to my clients as a sign of trust and mutual affection. But try to stay aware of boundaries - remember that my privacy is important no matter how well-established our working relationship is.
Once you feel you’ve ticked all the boxes, remember that your enjoyment is the reason I come to work every day (no pun intended!) Put aside anything that will get in the way of your own pleasure – sex negativity, insecurity and sex work stigma. It’s harder said than done but I’m here for you if you need to talk it out! Be yourself and enjoy yourself, knowing you’re in a space where you are allowed to be sexy and accepted.