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Why I Chose to Be an Escort

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Let's begin this with quote from Eric Abetz, an Aussie politician with too much time on his hands: "The only reason a woman enters prostitution is because she is desperate for money, and thinks she has no other means of meeting that need."

Oh cheer up, Abetz! His opinion is one that's usually only expressed by people who've had very little to do with the sex industry. Politicians tend to see dollars as an overriding concern, and I'm not really surprised by his assumption that money drives all our actions.

We live in an era of unashamed capitalism, valuing our worth by how much money we make ­ even if it's earned for someone else.

Before escorting I was a graphic designer. I worked pretty damn hard and I made a lot of money for my bosses: they used to rent me out at $250 per hour, while I received a salary that equated to about a tenth of that figure. I remember driving to the office at six am and eating breakfast at my desk. I Winter it was dark when I went to work, and dark when I left; all I saw was electric light.

I didn't plan to be doing that job forever but I never made any plans to change. The net result of this for me was feeling sucked dry, burnt out and with very little to show for it. After several years of all work and no play, I started feeling really depressed. I dropped the job, moved cities and, not wanting to repeat the same mistakes, began to open my mind to more creative employment possibilities.

Sex work is unique in that it allows for much more flexibility than your standard full­time job. A worker may choose to see clients once a week or five days a week. They may work late at night or during the day. They may arrange their bookings as they wish, choose who they would like to see and say no to anything they feel uncomfortable with. For a lot of people this choice of work means having time to look after their kids, to study or to pursue artistic projects. For me, happiness was the major concern. Escorting allows me to be completely in charge of my time and my activities. The money in escorting can be very good ­ however this is balanced out by the time I need to myself, so that I receive only a modest income. What I really value is the ability to adjust my work to suit my other plans.

Can you imagine living life without anyone at all breathing down your neck? The freedoms of escorting go way beyond just setting your own hours. I work for myself, in an industry where consent is crucial. NOBODY ever gets to tell me what to do ­ no bosses, no shareholders, and certainly not my clients! If I wish to take a day off to go to the park or a month off to go to Tahiti, nobody can stop me. The only constraints I have are my own standards of behaviour, and my financial goals.

Of course it's not just all about freedom and time spent on holiday. Contrary to Senator Abetz's fantasies, I don't spend my time at work feeling depraved and desperate. I enjoy sex and I never do anything I don't want to do. Setting your own boundaries in the bedroom is crucial and I've become very good at standing up for myself while respecting the needs of others. This is empowering, and it's fun, and it's sexy too. The dance of negotiation and seduction never fails to fascinate me, because everyone is different. My clients give me endless variety ­ old and young, poor and wealthy, a mix of races and religion and personalities. Being bisexual, I even get to see women and couples too!

Men and women become escorts for a huge number of reasons. For me choosing to become an escort wasn't a matter of economic necessity. It was more a need to find a job that let me live the way I really wanted. The flexibility and the autonomy of escorting allow me to be truly happy, while the endless variety of experiences always keep me coming back.
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