Episode 6 – Seek what sets your soul on fire.
Welcome back for another episode of my blog. Again, this one was written whilst I was living in London (August 2017).
Here I’m giving you a glimpse into the process I went through when I felt the call to become an escort.
Alexi Panos writes; “Pay attention to those things that light you up. The things that make you loose all track of time. The ones that make you feel alive in the moment. That passion is here to serve you.”
When I read this my mind went straight to my date the other night and how time seemed to slip by seemingly effortlessly. We met at 5pm and when we looked at the time it was midnight and by our surprise we didn’t notice it at all. We spent the evening connecting on a deep level and making love. To be honest, most dates I go on fly by.
I love connection with others, I really enjoy the company of men, I feel so joyful when I can connect physically with a conscious man and all this is effortless for me.
What is this passion here to show me?
I know passion is present to guide me to my life’s purpose, so what does that mean in this instance?
Then I felt dread and fear in my body. What if I’m being guided to create a career that is not accepted in our wider society? What if by creating this career for myself, I loose support and connection from the people I love?
But……. What if I find my true calling in this career? What if this career puts me in a place of true service to the world? What if this is just a necessary step to a much bigger future than I’ve ever thought possible? What if this career brings me the most joy I’ve ever felt in my life?
How could I possibly deny myself of pure joy and true service just because I fear change?
I hear you, these are all very big questions to be considered and answered because ultimately I could be turning my whole life on its head, but isn’t this what we are here for? To experience everything this human life has to offer? Even if it threatens change, even if it might get messy and even if we fall flat on our face? Isn’t that what life is about, leaping into faith? Sometimes we fall, but so many times we fly! I don’t want to miss the opportunity to fly.
I’m feeling like there is a lot of shame to shift through at this time.
- Collective shame, women’s shame and personal shame.
- Shame around women enjoying sex.
- Shame around women having a number of partners.
- Societal shame around sex in general.
- Shame around the way my body looks (even though I’ve done so much work on this, it still rears its ugly head at times.)
- And don’t even get me started on personal worth.
Being able to entertain and play with an idea is one of the ways I indulge in my creative side. This doesn’t mean I accept it, it just means I am opening myself to creative thought and ultimately the creative energy of the universe.
Aristotle says; “It’s the mark of an intelligent mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
Allowing myself to sit in the murky waters of the unknown, play with the ideas and have fun while doing it is very important to me at this time in my life. Especially when so much of my life as I knew it, has been dissolved and space has been made for me to do just this.
There is a reason for everything, it’s up to us to listen, to observe and to be open to possibilities that we have never considered for ourselves.
Can you live each moment with an open heart/mind and with a sense of curiosity?
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.
Please stay tuned in for my upcoming blogs. There are some exciting new changes happening my journey that I’d love to share with you all.
Zoe Sophia xx