Hello my SB babes. I am moving again. I get bored easy im on the go. ha. looking for a new apartment. wait, are you renting one? HMU. HA, no seriously how good would that be!
I am living with another human being again who isnt my boyfriend (and that never ends well either). I was born to live alone with tommy (my gorg cat). I love it and im an introvert so i just need my alone time, having another person's energy around all the time is actually really draining for me, even if i'm not talking to them. I guess it depends on what kind of energy that human has, if its anything hectic or negative i can really suffer from it.
I started to play around with my energy sensitivity (ES) when i was in year 7. I would read these books about it and then practice the meditations and exercises with my mum, it got to the point where i could tell how my mum was feeling without even looking at her. I ventured outside of my mum because that could be mother daughter tuition, and same. I was really good and pretty spot on when it came to how people were feeling and sometimes thinking, but definitely great at observing intention and motive. these things are always so obvious to me about people, and instead of handling it in a good way, i would immediately get defensive because i don't like being manipulated, so i would naturally react and mirror them except maybe they weren't as intuitive as I, so the game was a little unfair from the start. bad vivian. Because when I play i play hard so you want to be good yourself to survive it and most clients who have tried to do it to me, ive found become my regulars, because they arent ued to such a fierce chllenge maybe. Never met such a power hungy bitch and are scared to not book me again?? ha. whatever it is, I more and more, tire of this way of living and im really really ready ow to turn this in to something positive.
I always tell people i have really good bookings, and men and sex workers are surprised. But its true! This year, ive had 3 bad bookings....the rest have been great. I have really pleasant bookings and if im lucky i make amazing friendships and once i met one of the loves of my life, he was a client.
I believe this is because i do try to set a certain type of energy before i enter a booking. Ive really nailed down the best energy for a first time booking, but its a lot more work than others who dont think about energy are doing (or not and our job is just super hard either way but what i do is draining times 2 ha) i tend to burn out quicker. Giving too much i believe. But i wont apologize because its who I am and Im looking to increase my energy sensitivity, ive spent all my life running from it, I got sick of feeling others crap so deeply so much, so I would sedate myself to zone out and unfortunately that turned into a dependency that im in recovery for.
when I first burnt out from taking on others energy I waged a war against being a human. I didnt want to feel anything ever and so i hurt myself by sedating myself regularly. daily. from the age of 16. I thought that was the answer, it definitely took my intuition away =because i would do seriously dumb shit when i was in that state lol. As you can imagine.
But 3 years ago i HIT ROCK BOTTOM as "they" say. They' being me and others in NA. and i started recovery which Im still in.
Now im little by little learning to work with my energy sensitivity and become friends with it and learn to use it for good instead of evil. heh.
im still learning......but im definitely grateful for it in this job. I can get a Gage of who my client is just from text and i only take bookings where the energy is positive or fun. If i ever have when its not, im usually over tired or pre-occupied. But that is rarely ever. I put my job first before most things.
One other thing, my ES gives me is the ability to power play really well. I always had resentments against men growing up and i had my reasons....i have since let them go,,,,but what can i say? They were there 5 years ago. So i fine tuned my power play skills and this was to many people's dismay (in saying that i only ever power play people who do it to me first, but be sure when i felt that most faint green light, i would bring it and it was an excitable feeling). In business it is a handy skill to have and women dont tend to have it as much because we are used to feeling so dis empowered and im no exception. But i have felt the power hit from resenting men for so long and the hit from playing with them and "winning"
, that its just a natural reaction these days, most people don't know what hit them and a lot of the time i don't even have a choice. Its a natural reaction as i said.
But now im becoming more aware of it and as i said fine tuning it so i use it for positive things and not negative.
but for the most part in my job my energy goes towards creating a safe and comfortable environment for you and i put a lot of mental work into every booking so you can know im never slacking off, i don't think i could if i wanted to.
You will see in my rates section i have a new 3 hour package which is a great deal in comparison. but during week days i know most are in more of a hurry so i will regulary do scarlet blue exclusive specials for my followers, for 2 hours and 1 hour. But the rates up now are set weekend prices.
This week! we can meet in Southbank first or i can just come straight to you. Let me know! im really not a good choice to book at short notice. Pre-bookings are advised because i only do 1 or 2 bookings a day.
Oh and photos! I keep promising but Carmen from boudoir photography is really on board with my new summer idea and hopefully we can execute this for your eye candy. They going to be simple, sexy, bright & tight. ha
see you this week melbz luv u vivian vx