escort diary® of Vivian V

HOPE SHE SAYS IS A DANGEROUS THING FOR A WOMAN LIKE ME TO HAVE....but she has it.....wow. thank you for that little dot dot dot babe WOW im off to tassy....

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so lana del rey releases a song that semi answers some mystery within myself about a story im writing involving hitler (in a self depreicsting way and im not racist. Actually most of my idols are jewish so just putting that out there, I do not condone nazi anything its lame ANYONE WHO IDENTIFIES WITH THE NAZI MORAL CODE IS A HATEFUL LOSER AND YOU NEED TO GET MENTAL HELP OR READ A BOOK)......im all about the love.

HOWEVER, im writing this story about numerolgy and hitler my two main most profround topics and symbols of 2018 which continue and get more and more weirdly connectd to my life to the point where maybe my answers to end all answers are lying within these symbols and maybe these answers arent going to be some happy disney ending but i have HOPE they will lead me to a evolution of some sort so great, it might kill me or it will dramatically change me in ways that will either be completely cliche or in ways i never would have though.....both excite me

my numbers are undeniably 420 in a very intense beyond pattern recognition way, since april 2018 when my mental state of mind changed for the better and i decided being sadomasochistic was ruining my life, and in a lesser case i would eventually start seeing 421.

I know their meaning.

420 is a angel number and means my thought process and plan that im deciding on will take me to where i need to go (wherever that is).

421 - this is seen when im actually taking action toward the 420 plan and i do see 421 AS a much more positive number. and maybe i see it more now than i used to but i havent seen or been affected by either in a while but i think its because the numbers alone arent my main focus anymore...

When this quite insane man in a op shop pointed at me one day and yelled HITLER.......i wa shocked and intrigued and scared and sad and thought it was funny but knew it was no coincidence. i knew as soon as i heard this man proclaim he was GOD that ......yeah hes a bit nuts, BUT not as much as these other people thought. He was saying god, because he didnt know any other way to express what he was.....ive had a similar problem. NO FOR REALS

So my story will take you through the beginning stages of how the combination of both hitler and 420 now have combined and my focus is solely on hitler because there was a reason why as soon as i told this god man my numbers were 420 and asked him what they meant....he pointed at me and yelled Hitler....

....now i dnt scare too easy....but im oretty sure i went white when he said this.

Hitler has been on my mind since around JUNE 2018. A loved one went to jail for minor charges but i missed him alot and would write to him alot to keep correspondance. In one of my letters to him i accidently wrote "the only difference between me and Hitler is..."
This also startled me. I didnt plan to write that or about hitler at all EVER. But write that I DID lol. And it got me thinking and ponering my simlarities with Hitler. I have a few and id discuss with friends....

...so come december 2018.....op shop....man claiming hes god calling me hitler.....i naturally ask him why, ha.

He explains that 20th of april is Hitler's birthday. In this country we would write it 20/4 BUT in the US is would be written like this 4/20. 4/20!!!!

These two mysteries that became apparent to me around the same time when my life made a very intense painful change....why?

lana del rey's song "hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have....but i have it". came and answered some of these questions. answers deep down i already knew were true.

"she doesnt care and i care too much"
"calling you from beyond from the grave"
her hope of a revolution, i understand what she means by this, but i dnt think it will come. i actually have little hope that the frustration of being treated like a debutante will end for women like us. So fight we will have to continue. im tired but ill continue.....

she is on point about the loud evolution, us women are not plunging into this change of men being the cente of the earth well. WE ARE SO SO SCARED. we ahve been victims and using men as drugs for a very veyr very long time. Put in this positon via opression and sexism, but we are safe here seemingly, its the femle norn and thank god because norm is 100% my goal .........or nah.

But women have no choice but to evoutionise with more and more informstion being plunged into out lounge rooms on the daily. Evolution of women of feminism of humans of thought, of evil and of torment,

if once evil what does evil evolutise too next'? thats unanswered.

All this saidstic crap happening lately inspiring my first creative piece of wiritng as an adulttt. has sooooo got me in the mood to do BDSM doubles with the sexy miss ZENA dominatrrix.

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Miss zena and i so many fun bdsm theme styled bdsm doubles and I ACTUALLY SUB. see me get walked around on a dog lead babes, sexy. CALL ME FIDO V.
You and miss zena get to dom me and we can all just re-live my life as a natural BDSM session lol.

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