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How to book an Escort: A sassy cheetah wearing a fanny pack's guide to etiquette

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I think it's wonderful that Scarlet Blue has an etiquette section for members to read before booking their escort. However I still find that on occasion clients aren't aware of the more detailed etiquette when booking an escort and are extremely surprised when we refuse to service them. If we all approached service providers in every industry the way myself and many other escorts are approached by some potential clients it would be very difficult to get anything done ever. This entry is designed to educate, and is in no way intended as offensive to genuine and well meaning clients. Here are some tips and examples of what to do and what not to do to get the most our of your exchange with your chosen provider.

My first tip is to read whether your service provider has given instructions on how they would like to be contacted. If they ask for SMS or email only, do not call them initially. Just. Don't. You've already shown you don't understand boundaries with this simple lack of consideration. That said, there's nothing wrong with a good old fashioned phonecall with the service provider's explicit consent. If you would like to talk to them on the phone, politely ask them via txt message once you have already followed #2 in the section below and only do so if and when they say they are available to take your call.

Imagine in these examples that the client is John Smith and they are sending an SMS to the service provider Jim the plumber:

1. The first message.

#1 DON'T
John Smith: Hey sexy

#2 DO
John Smith: Hey there. I saw your ad in Plumbers R Us Magazine and you seem like the real deal. I see you've stated that you fix leaks for $200 and replace taps and levers for an extra $50. I've got a leaking toilet and a broken tap and I was hoping you could help me. Do you offer sink unclogging too? If so how much extra would that be?
Thanks, John.

In sms #1 John has been disrespectful, has not given any indication of what they are contacting Jim for and they are wasting Jim's time. In sms #2 John has clearly stated where they found Jim, what service they need that Jim provides, and an extra service they wish to inquire about. As you will notice John has taken the time to read Jim's ad for information on pricing and doesn't waste Jim's time by asking the answer to a question he could easily look up himself. Jim put a lot of time and energy into perfecting his ad and it's quite frustrating when clients do not read them properly. This makes it much easier for Jim to quickly and efficiently answer John's questions and determine whether they are the right service provider for the job.

2. Responding
#1 DON'T
Jim the plumber: Hi there, John. Thanks for your inquiry. Sure, I'm happy to help with your leak and tap! I do also offer an unclogging service for $100 extra. Would you like to make a time for me to come out?
John Smith: That's a ridiculous price! Tim's plumbing does it for free! Who on earth would pay that much!

#2 DON'T
Jim the plumber: Hi there, John. Thanks for your inquiry. Sure, I'm happy to help with your leak and tap! Though unfortunately I do not offer unclogging services. Would you still like to make a time for me to come out?"
John Smith: Tim's Plumbing offers that service! Why don't you do it for me? I'll give you $50 extra. You wont make any money if you don't offer that service!

#3 DO
Jim the plumber: Hi there, John. Thanks for your inquiry.Sure, I'm happy to help with your leak and tap! I do also offer an unclogging service for $100 extra. Would you like to make a time for me to come out?
John Smith: Yes, thank you. That sounds great. Free Tuesday at 5pm?
OR
John Smith: Unfortunately I don't have the extra $100. I'll just get the leak and tap fixed. Free Tuesday at 5pm?
OR
John Smith: Ah, I found that Tim's plumbing offers the same service for a bit cheaper. Thanks anyway.

#4 DO
Jim the plumber: Hi there, John. Thanks for your inquiry. Sure, I'm happy to help with your leak and tap! Unfortunately I do not offer unclogging services. Would you still like to make a time for me to come out?"
John Smith: That's ok. Sure come out and fix the leak and tap. Free Tuesday at 5pm?
OR
John Smith: That's unfortunate. I've found someone who offers all of the services I require however. Thanks anyway.

In #1 and #2 John has let his personal feelings and disappointment on the matter flow through his responses aggressively. His sense of entitlement has lead him to attack Jim and attempt to undermine the prices that Jim is comfortable offering the extra service for or the fact that Jim does not offer what he wants. In #3 and #4 we have examples of how John can respectfully accept or decline Jim's service or pricing without resorting to patronizing and disrespectful remarks. He also suggests the time he would like the service to occur so that Jim can quickly alert him to his availability.

3. Booking, security checks and deposits

#1 DON'T
Jim the plumber: Wonderful! I am free Tuesday at 5pm. To secure that time I require a 10% non refundable deposit to be sent to Acc: XXXXXXX BSB: XXXXXX and your business card, website, or reference from another plumber to confirm your identity.
John Smith: That's ridiculous! I shouldn't have to pay a deposit! And you can't have my details! Don't you trust me?

#2 DON'T
Jim the plumber: Wonderful! I am free Tuesday at 5pm. To secure that time I require a 10% non refundable deposit to be sent to Acc: XXXXXXX BSB: XXXXXX and your business card, website or reference from another plumber to confirm your identity.
John Smith: Send me a picture of what you're working on right now. Do you enjoy fixing leaks? What's your favourite thing to fix in your own house? Do you think maybe in time we can be friends and you'll help me out for free?

#3 DO
Jim the plumber: Wonderful! I am free Tuesday at 5pm. To secure that time in I require a 10% non refundable deposit to be sent to Acc: XXXXXXX BSB: XXXXXX and your business card, website, or reference from another plumber to confirm your identity.
John Smith: Here's a screenshot of my paid deposit, and my business card. See you Tuesday!

In #1 John is completely unwilling to cooperate and is raising many red flags for Jim. John's behaviour makes him appear volatile, unwilling to share the necessary information for Jim to feel safe AND he is not following the protocol of the service provider he is attempting to seek a service from. He is definitely coming across as an dangerous client. In #2 John has completely ignored Jim's requests and protocols and is crossing boundaries by asking personal questions that have little to do with the service they are paying for and could be discussed in person. He is taking up Jim's time and emotional labour while pushing the extent of their client-service provider relationship before the service provider has even received payment or any assurance that John actually truly intends to book. John appears both disrespectful and entitled, and Jim is quite frustrated that his requests have been ignored. In #3 John has followed protocol, paid a deposit and has not attempted to engage Jim in unnecessary conversation outside of the service hours. Jim is happy and confident that John will be a great client and that they will make enjoyable conversation upon meeting.

If you wouldn't say it to your plumber, do not say it to your escort. You should be able to make an enquiry and book or not book your service provider in 5 message exchanges or less. We are here attempting to provide a pleasurable service and I can 100% attest to the fact that some simple courtesy and respect for our time and efforts will go a long way in ensuring your escort does their best to make your experience extra pleasurable. I hope this helps new punters and old punters alike to brush up on their service inquiry skills and makes life a lot easier and pleasant for both you and your service provider. Then again, what would I know? I'm just a sassy cheetah wearing a fanny pack. [Yes, you may request that I wear the cheetah onesie in a booking ;)]

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