Insecurities as an escort
Becoming a sex worker has been one of the most interesting and challenging things I've ever taken on so far in my life- And often i feel as though it doesn't make sense that i would have chosen this job, considering how regularly i feel entirely inferior when it comes to my physical being within the sex industry. I am surrounded by gorgeous women with perfectly lean, toned and flawless bodies, long luscious hair, perfectly manicured hands and feet that sport designer footwear that i could never justify the cost of. To be completely truthful; I've never quite felt as though i look the part. However; insecure as i may be about my rather average physique, I feel confident within myself as a companion, lover and friend to my clients. My favourite qualities about myself are not those that are on my body but the things that are within me; the way i treat and speak to people, how I make others feel, my sense of humour, the contributions i make to my family and how i have chosen to live honestly regardless of how hard or unflattering that may be at times. These are the things that i am proud of. These are the things that i like about myself, and none of them have anything to do with how perky (or rather the very opposite) my tits are, or how flat my stomach is or how perfectly my makeup is applied; because when i really get down to it, none of that shit matters to me in the real world. But does it actually matter in the sex industry? What is it that clients are after; the type of woman that is wildly desirable and completely out of their league in the real world? The type of sex that they aren't having with their wife? or is it companionship and understanding along with great sex? I guess its all of it.
All i really want to do in this industry is connect with people. I just want to lessen the suffering of anyone who comes to see me; to make them laugh, make them feel desirable and attractive and listened to and understood-Because i really do know what it feels like to look in the mirror and think "ugh, me again". I understand that as a sex worker I'm supposed to exude confidence, sexiness and high self esteem, but i have to speak honestly. I'm just your average fucking idiot, following a curiosity for human nature and sexuality and trying to fit in as many laughs as i can along the way before i check out.
Anyway, that's what i'm thinking today. I hope that whoever reads this that you're having a good day and that you're happy.