Lots on my mind this week; death in particular being at the forefront of this menagerie. I lost a dear friend in recent times. She was vibrant and warm and loving in an unconditional sense. I miss her terribly. I want more time; it wasn't enough. I want her back.
Death is so cruel. What once was is no longer. 'No longer' feels sad and desolate and barren. It's cold and vacant and leaves me reaching for something i can't quite grasp. Why didn't I cherish every single moment with her? Why did i worry about the stupid petty things that annoyed me instead of just enjoying our time together? I will now bestow upon you the almost prerequisite cliche adage of the old 'life is short' variety. Overthought and spoken about, almost to the point that it is forgotten about and taken for granted.
To spend a little more time in this trite vein of thought, if life is so fleeting, I can’t even begin to express how important it is to do the things you love to do. Whether that be in the context of work or leisure or lifestyle choice. In my personal world, this brings to light the recent acceptance of the Nordic Model in yet another country Sweden has decided to welcome a set of laws and policies that criminalises the commercialisation of sex, amongst other things. Additionally in social media and news circulation in Melbourne recently, RMIT has been at the forefront of a two day conference campaigning to end ‘The World’s Oldest Oppression’ in attempt to bring to light the horror of the prostitution and the sex trade. However, in holding this conference, they have neglected to acknowledge that some sex workers freely choose to engage in sex work for a time or as a career. This not only heightens the stigma surrounding sex work but also threatens the livelihood, security and safety of sex workers. Please do not be mistaken; I am the first in line to advocate for women who have been subjected to sexual slavery and violence. Nothing upsets me more than this terrible injustice against humanity. However, I, myself was not forced to become a sex worker; I chose very freely and have not looked back since. I love what I do and it has brought the most positive changes to my life. That’s not to say all is rosy all of the time; no job is perfect. But what I, and other sex workers need when things go pear shaped is support and the resources to be able to talk and or get the help we need to rectify what has been unsettled or disturbed.
I guess what I’m trying to articulate, in a very long winded fashion, is that people should have the right to choose how they want to spend their lives. We are lucky enough to live in a country that allows us to do so the majority of the time. Having said that, gay marriage is still not legal in Australia. Prostitution, where it can be conducted and by whom it can be carried out by is monitored in various states. I usually follow the train of thought that if you are not hurting anyone (in the various forms that this can occur) then you should be free to do as you please. If you like being tied up and dominated by a Mistress, go forth and submit! If you want to receive a golden shower because it turns you the fuck on, go do it. If you want to move to Spain and eat jamon of a daily afternoon, pack your bags and jump on an aeroplane. If you prefer staying home and watching Gogglebox instead of going out for drinks with friends then stay the fuck home and do it. If you like running marathons or playing Xbox or reading the National Geographic then do so. Life is too short to not do what makes you happy. Sex work makes me happy. So does my family and my puppy and chocolate and soft strolls on balmy afternoons. Love the life you lead. Show the people you love that they are precious to you.
And to my gorgeous friend, I'll never stop loving you my darling. I think about you everyday.