A little while ago, in the not so distant past, I had an occupational experience that was unpleasant on a multi-layered level. It has brought to light some consequences and questions that I had not priorly experienced or considered.
In a conventional work environment, occupational health and safety laws ensure that if something pertaining to the health or wellbeing of an employee goes pear shaped, there is a safety wall of legislation to cover any damages. Medical bills, counselling and sick leave et al needn't be of utmost concern as they are usually all encompassed in a company's insurance policy.
So how about when something goes wrong with a sex worker? When we're sick, there is no sick leave. It is frowned upon to work when one is sick due to the intimate nature of what we do. Clients don't appreciate when our flu or stomach bugs or cold sores are passed on to them, and fair enough too. However, this means that we survive on whatever savings we have tucked away, which can be worrisome and troubling to say the least.
But how about incidences that affect our mental health?
I was anally penetrated without consent on the job. It was done on purpose and was withdrawn when my shocked body and powerless mouth dumbly objected to the presence of a penis in my anus. There was no apology. In fact straight after he removed his appendage from my rear end, he promptly inserted it into my vagina and started thrusting again. He didn't care about the fact that he had just defiled my body. Nor did he care that the condom used to inappropriately penetrate my bum was now in my vagina, along with all the microscopic bacteria present in the organ used to expel waste. As many women have experienced, vagina flora is a bitch when disrupted. Our lady flowers are delicate and do not need butt bacteria infiltrating them. At the time I was shocked and a little angry. But now I find myself upset and anxious. I've cancelled many bookings because I'm afraid of what might take place during them.
I'm not trying to play the victim card; what happened was mild compared to what other sex workers have endured. The thing was, I had no one to talk to about it other than the few friends who are aware of my profession. But they couldn't ensure that it or worse wouldn't happen again. Nothing in life is certain, and in a sex worker's world, we live on a roller coaster of 'what if' and 'hope so'. We read about the call girls murdered in hotel rooms, praying we won't be the subject of the next one hundred word article on a crowded newspaper page.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this. When we state our services, please don't push for more. We have carefully considered what we feel comfortable doing. If it's not detailed, we don't want to partake.
Remember that what we do provides for our livelihood. We don't have a corporation behind us, paying for stationary or training courses or parking or sick leave. We are it. Asking for a discount is a little insulting. Pushing for more services is too; we give so much of ourselves already. If you can't or don't agree to the terms and conditions, don't contact us.
Lastly, we do this job because we love it. It is the same as a veterinarian loving animals and thus becoming an animal doctor. But don't abuse that love with "R u avail now" or hand pumping one's pussy until they are numb and oversensitive (another story for another time). Our occupation of choice may be unconventional and frowned upon by most of society but we offer our time with a service included just like a mechanic or a stylist or a real estate agent. We don't deserve to be taken advantage of because of a negative social stigma that the word 'whore' has been attached to. Yes, we like getting down and debauched with you, but please respect our boundaries; you might be doing more damage than you realise.