The % of woman vs business lady in a SWer
Doesn’t matter how much we try to persuade everyone that this is just business, we still take hurtful things more personally than in any other business. I know, since I run 3 of them, and had others in the past. Even a big client leaving, or cancelling a contract or not returning might make me curse for the lack of monetary gain, but on a personal level, it doesn’t hurt, nothing like when a lover with whom we spent amazing time together, suddenly ignores my message, cancels a booking or doesn’t come back again.
To try and figure out what my % of the balance between a professional worker and a woman is I made a questionnaire to asked myself.
Yes I do that, and not just when bored. I try to figure myself out as much as other people who I meet.
1. If you have a booking with a lovely regular for 2 hours, then you get an email from a serious sounding new gent asking for a full day booking (a lot more money), you can’t combine them for obvious reasons, and new gent can’t do any other day, who would you choose to see?
A: No question I’ll see my regular. Not only did he book first, but I do usually like and miss them in between visits. The new guy might be great, but it wouldn’t be my lovely regular!
2. You had a fantastic long booking with a gent, you clicked and had a great time. He isn’t in a hurry to book again but keeps chatting to you almost daily for months. Will you continue talking or block him since he isn’t booking any more?
A: As long as the chatter is staying interesting, I’ll keep chatting. It’s more than just a financial transaction, I enjoy speaking with interesting, intelligent people. He might have other reasons for not booking me for now. Point being, interesting chatter, not the daily “hi” nothing else said… Or a random compliment.
3. When you are having a sick day, bored in bed, would you contact your friends for a chat or your clients / lovers?
A: I do love my friends, don’t get me wrong, but with the whole secrecy lately, and living such different lives to them, I often find it more entertaining to chat to my lovers. However I often feel shy about messaging them first, and kind of hope they would say hello to me first. I don’t want to be seen as annoying or fishing for bookings.
4. On a one off date with a new person, who describes in detail his travel / romance / new job plans with you, do you wonder how he went after he leaves?
A. I’m so curious about many of the people who came and we connected and they disappear, I’m curious where they are at, how that new job went, how they went in the competition, how their wild trip or a new date they were preparing for turned out. Are they even still alive? Always debating with myself if I should ever contact them again, but don’t, for privacy reasons.
5. After a fun date, the guy hints that he is always busy, would you keep messaging him when you are in his city to see if he would book again?
A. No, once I get a feeling the guy has no interest in communicating, I don’t approach them again, and prob miss out on work, he might have been grumpy at the time, but I’m never game to try again.
6. When a close past client tells you he can no longer see you, your first reaction is regret for lost money? Or more personal?
A. In a way it feels like a break up. There is obviously a monetary regret too, especially if the cancellation was after an already set booking, and unfortunately I tend to count on the money that I assume I’ll make even thou it hasn’t happened yet. Bad habit I know… That’s why I’m so so grateful to the guys who still pay me in full once they cancel the date. I had more of them this year than I could have ever expected or hoped for. However a bigger part is emotional regret, and wondering if it’s something I’ve done, or not done, said or not said… Although majority of guys who told me they could no longer see me, gave me very valid reasons which had nothing to do with me as such.
7. If you have seen someone a few times, they pay well, but there is no connection, no interest, attraction and you no longer enjoy your times together, would you refuse to see them again, or go ahead with future bookings since it’s sure money?
A. Refusing bookings is incredibly difficult for me. In general saying no to people doesn’t come easily. In my personal life too. I once went on a date with a guy I didn’t even like only because he asked me to, we sat for a couple of hours in silence. Then when he asked to see me again I was just quiet until he got the message. Pathetic, I know. In a way similar situation happens, I stop contact and hint that I’m no longer interested in continuing the relationship and hope they get the message and move on to someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problems at all saying no to anyone annoying, rude, dangerous, or anyone I believe we won’t click with at all in a booking.
8. You have an overnight booked with a lover, and someone else is asking for a couple of hours of your time the morning before, would you accept it?
A. No, I want to try and be at my best, not potentially tired / sore / mentally exhausted after another booking. The day before an overnight I keep to myself to relax, get ready and in the mood. It’s hard enough when I have to fly the same day…
9. A regular you trust is making another booking, would you still ask for a deposit?
A. I don’t like asking for them, would much prefer the person who has previously done a deposit to just tell me he is putting a new deposit in. Yes I still require deposits even from very regular people, I need it for my own sanity not because I don’t trust the person.
10. What do you do with all the cards and less usable gifts?
A. Keeping them all, planning on reading them again when I’m old to remember the good times. Many people write cute, beautiful, touching, funny, interesting Thank You cards, and they are very special to me.
Looking at these, I’m calculating I’m about 80% woman 20% worker. LOL But then math isn’t my strongest skill so the % could differ!
I believe being self aware is best, not hiding my head in the sand. It’s about time I accept who I am. Growing up in a family who expected perfection. Haha. They did not get that with me. Or my siblings for that matter… Is anyone perfect? I was criticised for basically being me. For being too sensitive, (I was called a princess on the pea a lot, and not as a compliment), was screamed at for getting sick with colds, for crying in public (massive no-no in my family), for showing any emotion, and the first hug I got from my mum was when I was leaving to come to Australia. So I had many years of having to pretend I was “normal”, then I had a few years of being able to behave as crazily as I felt like, without adult supervision, and while modelling then studying, no one cared what I got up to, and my friends called me daily for an update on the craziness, but then afterwards in the business world, I obviously had to pretend to be normal and fit in again.
Now I can just be me.
P.S. Been writing bits from this over the last 3 weeks, sorry if it doesn't come together too well. I'll submit it before I overthink and change my mind.