Dominant, submissive, or does it even matter?
This might not be particularly coherent as I’m still trying to figure what I’m feeling myself as I’m typing this.
I had an interesting experience with a lover last week.
On our second date together, he confessed that he is normally a dominant, but was still happy to let me lead the first time around. On this date I trusted him completely, we knew each other for over 6 months, spoken a lot, he was very sensitive to all my needs, sometimes before I knew them myself, like buying me water before I was thirsty, or picking me up from the airport when I thought uber would be just fine, getting me ice coffee for the next few days to help me wake up, and generally looking after me all day long, by the evening I was happy to give it a go, to allow his dominant side to come out to play. Which resulted in a beautiful feet and legs massage first, and lot’s of intimate fun afterwards. I don’t think I managed to be a proper submissive at all, just not in my nature, but the playing was a lot more balanced, of give and take, and we swapped who is leading a lot, it resulted in a very passionate lovemaking.
Which made me wonder why I tried to avoid anyone who isn’t a submissive all this time. Yes, I still enjoy leading and I still love playing with shy and timid people. But turned out that respectful, sensitive, considerate guys could be pretty damn amazing.
Later the same week I had a long date with another wonderful gent who also mentioned having a dominant side, although he was happy to allow me to lead, our play was passionate and memorable as he was taking an active part in it too.
I still want to avoid anyone who can’t get aroused without dominating or hurting a woman. I’m not in to pain or rough play, that will never change.
But adding this new exciting dimension might be something to explore.
A couple of months ago, in another city, I let another very respectful gent after our normal play to do something pretty incredible to me, again it was our 2nd date, and I trusted him enough to close my eyes and be led in to magic. However I am a bit of a control freak, and it takes a lot for me to give that trust to someone.
In my private life I always preferred to lead and please, both men and ladies, this new development of me getting aroused over someone gently leading me, is very exciting.
Not too sure what I’m trying to say here yet. Baby steps. But I might have been pushing away perfectly nice guys who didn’t want to blindly submit to me before, and I guess I’m saying I’m happy to consider seeing some of them if a balanced, equal play is an option.
A confused and curious demon.