Time-wasters... sometimes they’re entertaining when I’ve got time to waste :)
So I’m a light sleeper, for reasons... but I shouldn’t reveal all my Mister E ;)
Tuesday, early morning, I woke up to a crash because I’d previously fallen asleep watching a movie, & kicked the mouse off the bed. Not more than 30 seconds later my work mobile rings at 2:55am Mistake #1 turn it off after working hours or before bed. I checked it for telemarketers, designation outside Australia, & knew answering private number mistake #2, a big no-no due to time-wasters from my mentors good advice, but answered anyway like an inexperienced jube lid lol
Conversation went along the lines of, with words to the effect:
‘Hello’ slightly alert due to crash, but a little foggy
‘Is this a male escort’ male voice.
‘Yes this is Mister E, how may I help you?’ It’s after hours,
‘I’m wondering if you see men?’
‘No sorry, I’m a straight male escort. How did you find my profile in Wollongong? From my Scarlet Blue profile?’ Mistake #3, gave him a answer, to a leading question that I should have asked.
‘Yeah. Umh would you do men?’
‘No I’m a straight male escort, I don’t do men’ I’m light- hearted & a little amused by the conversation, as timing after crash woke me up lol.
‘How about a blowjob then, I can blindfold you to make it easier’
‘No sorry, I don’t do men, I’d still know (what was he thinking?!) & I don’t think I’d be any good at it, as I’m not into men’.
‘You just remind me of that politician Tony Abbot’
‘Is it the ears?’
‘No you just remind me of a younger version of him’.
‘Oh ok, I’m flattered’
‘Gotta be a better politician than that female Julia Guilard, Can I get a hell yeah?’
‘ Hell yeah, I’m flattered’
‘What about for $400 bucks?’
‘No sorry, don’t waste your money’ I’m laughing in my tone of voice, trying to figure out who pranked me lol.
‘Come on man. What about for $3000?’.
‘That’s a little excessive, no sorry no need, don’t waste your money, you shouldn’t need to spend $3000 on an escort like me for a blowjob... sorry no money in the world would be right for me to take from you, it wouldn’t be right to take your money for a shit blowjob, from a straight male not into it. There’s plenty of bi male escorts in Wollongong, as I’m not into it, but have you tried searching Locanto? I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of them to choose from on there.
‘Have a nice night’, but I think he’d already hung up prior lol
I was awake anyway, so no skin off my nose lol Good sense of humour, very entertained... & most interaction since I missed the last private number... a day after I first started :)
Will I make my lucky break, & get a real booking prior to my advertiser invoice being due... we’ll see, stay tuned for more comedy to ensue lol :)
Mister E... out.