Hey babe, you avail?
What a better time than being on a flight without phone reception to write yet another escort diary on communication.
This seems to be a giant hurdle for some of you & you really need to overcome it.
One chance, that's all you get. If you screw it up I will not give you a chance to redeem yourself.
These rules are based on my personal preference only, I cannot speak for any other escorts.
It's quite simple to compose a message.
All that is asked is -
* Date & Time
But many of you cannot seem to grasp that concept.
Of course I know a lot of this comes down to pure laziness. You see some pictures, you see the phone number - two minutes later I receive the cringe worthy message I dread.
"Hey babe, you available?"
Sometimes you can't even write available, we just go with avail. Last time I checked, that wasn't even a word.
It's honestly made so easy for you.
So much information is provided over various escort ads, templates ect.
But so many of you continue to disregard that.
When I receive your badly composed contact, I'm automatically going to assume you're illiterate.
You will never get a favourable message from me if you cannot be polite upon first contact.
Nor will you EVER meet me.
If I'm being totally honest, I have a filing system in regards to who contacts me.
One being - good polite potential clients - these clients will receive a tick against their name.
Or two, the "Dickhead" list.
Chances are, you could be on it.
This is most definitely a list you want to avoid. Once you're filed under "Dickhead" there's no coming back from it. I don't care who you are or what you do. Nothing will get you off the list.
I will list a few examples of what will gain you access to the unfortunate filing of your number.
1. The very common -
"Hey Babe/Baby/Darling/Sweetie/Any other pet name, you available?"
Simple answer, No.
I will never be available for you, dickhead.
2. Messages in the middle of the night. Last time I checked I don't have a sign on my down stairs region that states I'm "Open for business 24hrs". Little FYI, I'm not a robot. I lead a normal life, and that life includes sleep at normal times. If you read my ad in the first place, you would see very clearly the best times to contact me.
3. The spammer - Sends one message, maybe polite. But then before even giving me a chance to reply, follows it up with 1, 2, 3 maybe more messages to remind me of your original contact that I most likely haven't even seen yet. As stated in number 2, we have lives outside of sex work... believe it or not. I work a day job. Sometimes I'm not even within 100kms of my work phone - so settle your fiery fingers. If you double text me, well done, you're on the list!
4. Try to negotiate my rates? YOU'RE ON THE LIST.
5. One worded messages - now these really grind my gears. "Hi" "Hello" "Service" "Available". Like, we are not children, stop acting like one and use your big boy words.
Look, I could honestly go on for a few hours about how wrong you get it.
This comes down to laziness and people who just don't respect service providers time.
I'm not going to put up with your shit, I am not going to baby you.
You're going to figure this out all on your own.
If you want to see me & believe me, you do.
You'll get it right, the first time.
Go try & contact any other business with your absurd text messages and see how far you get.
You want to be rude to me and ignore all the information I have listed to help you?
That's okay, two can play that game & I can assure you that you won't win.
So think twice before you start typing out a message to me that doesn't include my required booking information.
I have absolutely lovely clients I see who have contacted me in the correct manner & I will always go above and beyond to ensure you leave satisfied. I love my job, my clients can see that.
I will never accept a booking just for the money.
I will accept a booking if you contact me correctly, if you're a polite & friendly human being who I want to spend my time with.
This is a business, my business.
I don't care if you don't like the process, I couldn't care less.
My screening process isn't harsh or strict, you're just lazy.
I am providing an experience. I am providing companionship. I am providing memories all for the ones who are worth it.
I appreciate all of my clients. Once you get past that first step of my booking process, you will see my true self. I am a down to earth & kind person.
I care for my clients, I respect my clients and I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together.
If you cannot give me the same courtesy then I simply do not want to cross paths with you.
So just remember - if you screw it up, the lengthy "Dickhead" list is waiting for you, babe....
To all my genuine clients, thank you.
Thank you for getting it right, each and every time. You are what keeps me going.