The five valuable lessons escorting has taught me.
This is my first time writing an escort diary, or any diary for that matter... I was never that tweenage girl who would write in her diary about a boy she had kissed last week, or how hot Jesse McCartney was (although he could well have been my total pre-teen crush).
I am relatively new to the realm of sex work, having only worked in the industry for a little over six months. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to reflect and share with you all of the valuable lessons that the adult industry and sex working world has taught me.
1) Safe sex
Safe sex has obviously always been a prevalent part of high school health education, but nobody ever likes to talk about the nitty-gritties of health checks, STI's and the risks, common illnesses associated with even the simplest act of kissing, or what to do when you need to get a sexual health check. And, as you approach the ripe old age of 18 and make the (almost) mandatory tinder account, everything you have ever learnt about safe sex virtually flies out the window. Before I worked in the industry I had no idea what a dam was. Hand on heart, had never been told about, shown, or used one. I thought condoms were "one-size-fits-all", and I had never been for a sexual health screening, hell, I had never even told a doctor I was sexually active! (How naive was I?) Entering into the adult industry has opened my eyes in such a positive way, I am so happy that the men and women I had my first few weeks in the industry with were so health and safety conscious. I learned so much about how to take care of myself and my clients, and I found an amazing doctor who not only keeps me healthy, but is there to listen to me with open ears - something that many doctors find hard to do. I can honestly say that I am more sexually healthy now than I have ever been.
2) Escorts are people too
Now, this one seems obvious, but, if like me, you based your initial pre-conceptions about the world of sex workers on what you see in the movies, then, like me, you are dead wrong.
My first day as an escort was unbelievably nerve racking. I arrived at the establishment unsure of what I was about to get myself into, I walked down the hallway and into the "girls area", half of me expecting to see a group of women in their underwear, getting drunk, using drugs, talking about sex and whatever else, half of me not knowing what to expect. As I turned the corner I saw quite possibly the loveliest bunch of ladies I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Sitting on a lounge in their dressing gowns, reading books, telling stories about their gorgeous kids, husbands, dogs, cars, weekend adventures. A group of normal women. People. Just like me. A rush of relief washed over me I can tell you that. And I now have valued friends for life.
3) You don't have to
And here I was thinking that nothing was off the table as an escort, but as it turns out, the classic "the customer is always right" rule doesn't apply! (Now I know what you're thinking, how rude of me right? But let me elaborate...) When I first considered entering into escorting, I got this idea into my head that I would have to be a people-pleaser at all costs. I would have no choice but to provide services if the client requests or suggests them, after all, the client is the one paying for my time right? They should be in charge?... Nope! I realised so quickly - through the wonderful advice of the ladies I mentioned earlier - that if I don't want to do something in the room, then I don't have to. If the client is making me feel uncomfortable, or wanting a service that I feel uncomfortable with, or that I do not provide, then I don't have to see that client. What a revelation. Who knew being a sex worker could be so empowering? Learning this so soon in my escorting career has saved me so much trouble and has made me so much more of a strong woman.
4) All walks of life
As per the movies, clients are always old creepy men in a wood panel station wagon aren't they?, well you guessed it, that too would prove to be untrue! Clients come from all walks of life, all ages (as long as they're over 18) young and old, black and white, English speaking, non-English speaking, from anywhere in the world. And you know what? You can't lump them all into one category based on their background. Clients, like escorts, are people too. They have different wants, needs, and desires, and part of becoming a successful escort for me, was learning how to cater to and respect each client as an individual. Something I feel I can pride myself on is listening to and providing for each client as though they were just another human being, because, well, they are.
5) Be confident
Probably the most valuable lesson that has changed me so much for the better, is to be confident. Before I entered into the industry I had so many confidence and body image issues, and now I look in the mirror and think to myself "Well done you, you are a classy, sexy, sophisticated woman, making her own money, and have a damn good time doing it." When I am in the room with a client that is respectful and courteous, a client that treats me like a princess, I feel beautiful and nothing could take that away from me. The sex industry has opened my eyes in such a way that I have come to realise that I can be a sex goddess if I choose to be, and that I can also choose to be at home in my pyjamas and shut everyone out for a day, and that's okay because I am confident in my own decisions. And I know that my lovely regular clients will always be there waiting to boost me up when I need it most.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first escort diary, it has been an absolute pleasure to share with you. I hope to learn so many more valuable lessons as my career in the industry continues.
Jade Rose xxx