Who is Holly Trinity - A little note on authenticity
Today is the day that I decide to start a diary, to give you a little insight a day in the life of Holly Trinity. This is partly so you can get to know me, as I’m still quiet new here, but also so that I have a place to write down all my wild musings, which will hopefully surprise and delight you. I am a big supporter positivity, having a happy and up-beat out-look, but I also like to dissect the things that make think more complexly.
I have been thinking a lot lately about relationships and ‘real’ and ‘authentic’ behavior. There is a lot of buzz and hype around being your ‘best and most authentic self’. As a gemini (I’m a star sign girl - please don’t judge me) and escort, I used to really wonder what my best and most authentic self might be. Before escorting, I used to spend a lot of time trying to please others to figure it out. When was I being fake, in-authentic or judgmental. When I wasn’t being ‘true to myself’. I suppose this led me to really think about what is real, what isn’t and how most relationships are quiet performative, which isn’t actually a bad thing.
So often, we’re told we’re told that we are being in-authentic of fake, and the anxiety of being ‘authentic’ is often authentic is exhausting. The only person who really knows when you’re being authentic and genuine is you. So loving yourself, having a great relationship with yourself and developing emotional intelligence (EQ’s to the front) is just as important as going to the gym, toning your body, eating correctly having good physical health.
I suppose what I am getting at is that when I’m Holly, I feel really and truly authentic.
I have so much freedom to unashamedly love the things I always used to, fashion, beauty, good style and actually made taking care of myself a priority. I love the people I meet, the friends I make and the way my horizons are expanded by people with different beliefs, views and opinions (and sexual appetites of course). Liking ourselves and looking after ourselves is often seen as selfish, and comes behind so many other strenuous responsibilities (work, having a family, making a lot of money ect).
’Self-care’ might be the buzz word of the millennial generation, but I think that everyone should practice more of it. I truly believe that if you’re happy, nourish your soul with good things that make you smile is investing in yourself in the long run. Then, you can decide on what your beliefs are (based on making the world a better, not worse place for others) I think you come that bit closer to being your best and most authentic self. Compassion, kindness and understanding is really at the core of how I’d like to interact with each others, to be my most authentic. It’s not always easy, but it totally pays off in the long run.
I had a client recently who wasn’t sure where they stood on the yes/ no Marriage Equality campaign. This man is very wonderful, we have great intellectual discussions, amazing sex and I aways look forward to seeing him. I am strongly in favor of the YES vote and equality for all, and that marriage (whatever my thoughts on the institution its self) as that is one of my beliefs and values. At the end of the day, I truly believe that people are a summation of their values. My client in question didn’t think that voting was something he should do as it didn’t relate to him. This made me think about a lot of my behavior, and how before escorting, it used to be quiet selfish and insular. I would only have very strong opinions about things that directly related to me and acted in a way that supported my own agenda. Before, I might have got mad at this person who had a difference of opinion, and not taken the time to try and understand another set beliefs or values. My client and I had a long conversation about beliefs, values and ideas, and how culture doesn’t exist in a vacuum. We discussed that we’re all responsible for change and can impact change on others, positively, through thinking outside ourselves.
A couple of days later, this client sent me a message saying he’s just submitted his postal vote, and ticked yes. It was super cute. He said that after thinking about how he could authentically change the world to reflect it to be the sort of place that he wanted to live in, he knew he wanted to do something to contribute to that. I was really honored that he shared that with me.
Whatever your values or beliefs are surrounding this issue, I found it admirable that through discussing values and beliefs, one can change their actions to reflect their authentic self. I don’t know if I’m making any sense, so I think I’ll finish up now. Though writing this has been super fun.
I’ll leave you with a quote that summates this entry, to me.
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. - Audrey Hepburn
Until next time.