escort diary® of Eleanor Colt

Driving, masturbating, and what's changed...

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I spend quite a lot of time driving.
Driving up to my mum's farm to ride my horse.
Driving kids here there and everywhere.
I used to love driving. I'd crank up whatever music took my mood, drive places just for the hell of it, and think. (Often times, I must confess, I would also masturbate whilst driving. I am not sure if it was my wandering mind ending up in titillating places, or just what I did when I had some spare time by mself...but it was definitely a regular occurrence. My older self disapproves, and is not sure that this was ever a particularly safe idea...TOWARDS ZERO, people!!)(I also used to work for TAC, hmmm).
Now, I almost always have children in the car so there's no cranked up 'me' music, and pretty much never the freedom to indulge a wandering mind, free from responsibilities. And DEFINITELY no wandering hands, even if I wasn’t so safety conscious! But on the odd occasion when it's just me, I still love the head space that driving affords me. And this week I was driving and thinking about my career.
Last time I worked in this industry, it didn't occur to me that it could be a career. I just sucked at waitressing and had had the idea simmering away for so long, it just seemed like a natural alternative while I studied. Now, though, I am expecting to be doing this for as long as I can. I am totally hoping to be a grandma escort, with long-term lovers who don't mind my saggy bits and grey bush (no preserving youth here, lovers. This is not a judgement, just a fact for me. I like getting older.). But, thinking about that has also made me think about how different it seems to last time I did sex work.
Admittedly, I worked for an agency back then, and that is different from being invested in your own business. And another huge difference is the internet and how much easier it is to connect with my peers and see this work in a broader context. I'm really grateful for that. But that also means the way I interact with clients is different. My thoughts on this and how it relates to escorting as a career below…
Within myself, I'm much more curious about the types of clients I enjoy spending time with, and I'm also much better versed in my own sexual pleasure (fun fact: I had never given anyone a BJ before I started sex work that first time...).
Within the industry, the main difference I have noted is that it seems like a lot more is expected of us in this role now. We're expected to be more accessible, share more of ourselves - the parts that we're prepared to share - through social media, through regular photo shoots, and also to be prepared for the scrutiny (and trolling) that comes with that. Clients seem to be wanting to connect more and the work has a more emotional element. Previously, I really didn't feel that expectation. I dressed nicely and I loved sex, and that seemed like enough.
Of course this is a business and branding comes into this too, but when you're getting naked with someone, for me at least, I have to be able to share something sustainable - and for me, that is really just being myself. So, these differences suits me. Despite being introverted and slow to reveal myself to new people, there are layers to intimacy that I think this way of working lends itself well to. I'm naturally open about my life and my experiences (it's more my emotional world that I hold close until I trust someone). But because making the effort to get to know someone new is draining for introverts (note this doesn't mean we don't enjoy it - just that that it uses energy and we need some alone time to recuperate, whereas extroverts gain energy from this process), I can't keep doing it on repeat.
My circumstances only allow me to see 2-3 clients per week. But even if I had more time, I still couldn't see any more - I'm just not wired to cope with that much interaction with new people. Other parts of my life would suffer. So the expectation of being more connected with clients works in my favour, particularly if you are someone who is looking for an ongoing arrangement with fewer workers, where you can get to know each other better and enjoy interactions that evolve over time. The more comfortable and connected I feel, the more myself I can be. Quirky, funny, a bit left field. So though it is more emotionally intense, I am enjoying this expectation. I LOVE longer dates. For me, two hours is the ideal first date. And it's even better if it involves wine. I want the anticipation, the butterflies, the banter. The space to get to know someone and find out where you click. Creating enough of a connection so that we can establish trust. All these things mean I feel comfortable to truly be my quirky self with you.
And also the knowledge that we’re going to shag soon. Hot.
This is at odds with the fact that sometimes I just want to make out and bang.
*Shrugs*
I like all these parts of me. It’s hard to establish a brand though, if sometimes you want the connection, the laughter, the wining and dining…and other times you’re more the horny milf who’s been hanging out to get laid.
*Shrugs again*
Oh well. In light of these reflections, I have added a newsletter to my website. If you’re one of these clients, feel free to sign up! I’m not entirely sure what content I will put in there, but it’s a nice way to stay in touch, especially if Twitter is going to delete our accounts .
Anyway, in case this is all a bit cerebral, so here’s a booty pic

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SCARLET BLUE.
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