In today's image obsessed, superficial society it is easy to think that looks are the key to happiness and success. Even though most if us know this is simply not true some part of us still believes that if we look good we will do better in some, if not all areas of life. I would propose that it is not the way we look externally but that he way we FEEL that improves our lives. Therefore instead of spending time on superficial things to make us look good, we should work on feeling good on the inside.
I know that for me when I think that I look good I feel more confident, it feels like everyone smiles at me and everything seems to work out better. I can easily shrug off things that under other circumstances may have bothered me. On the flip side when I think I look bad, I have less confidence, I feel like everything is going wrong and am bothered by the smallest things.
I use to think when I felt bad about my body I needed to change my appearance in some way. Maybe a new hairstyle, exercising more, or new clothes would fix the problem. Sometimes this strategy worked. There were times that new outfit made me feel great about myself but the feeling didn't last and many times my efforts to change my appearance made me feel even worse. Over the years I become aware that it really has nothing to do with the way I actually look on the outside, it has to do with the way I am feeling inside.
For example if you wake up feeling you don't look any good, you are automatically in a negative mood, maybe you have negative self talk, like I'm not good enough, I will never be successful or I'm never going to find a partner. Your day goes on and everything seems to be going badly, without recognizing it maybe you are walking around with a frown on your face or you are a bit abrupt with people you talk to. These people are then abrupt with you and maybe scowl back at you, your day just gets worse. Perhaps you even blame their behavior on your looks and say to yourself that they would treat you better if you were good looking. This just makes you feel more insecure about your looks and your mood seems to spiral downwards making it hard and harder to get out of this negative and destructive way of thinking.
In situations like this I find that if I am able to change my perspective, see things from another point of view, I am able to turn the situation around and start feeling better about myself. Talking with someone about the way I feel can help, also getting someone else's opinion can help me to get out of my destructive way of thinking. This is one of the reasons I offer sex coaching sessions working with clients to overcome body image issues.
I find that for many people struggling with body image issues, talking with and being intimate with someone in a safe, non-judgmental environment can help them to see beyond the issues they are having with their body, to start to be more accepting of the body they have and to be happy with their body.
If you are struggling with body image issues my sex coaching service could be just the thing to help you. To find out more visit my profile and personal website.
Have a beautiful day.
Catherine Belle xoxo