The Txt Rationale
** From my personal blog. For more posts and info please see my website**
Asides from already having an existing bit of phone anxiety due to a poor decision to take a telemarketing job when I was 18 (now that is what I call degrading work!) I learnt very quickly that accepting phone calls as a private worker is, in my opinion, a gargantuan pain in the ass.
I think it was different when I worked at a brothel initially. The girls all answered the phone, but we had to pretend to be a receptionist called Olivia to the clients so we wouldn’t be selling ourselves above the other girls on shift (clients will usually book whoever they’re talking to otherwise). The illusion that they were talking to a receptionist meant that clients were mostly much more respectful when talking to us (isn't that kind of sad?). We were also always on site and someone was always around to answer it, so it was no big deal.
Fast forward to private work, and it’s a somewhat different situation.
You see, there’s a multitude of reasons that I will get to for why I do not answer phone calls in this profession, but the first and foremost one is that men like to talk dirty. I mean, clients are very often contacting me because their little head is doing the thinking, that's understandable. Sometimes though, it also does the talking too… The amount of times I’d find myself in a public place while a client tried to draw out of me the intimate details of what I will do to them during the session is countless, and the number of times those calls resulted in bookings was zero. Phone call turnover is just really, really poor.
Sure, I'm a sex worker and I am certainly no prude, but being a sex worker is not an invitation to be sexually harassed. I'm a professional and a human being first and foremost. If we have not met and money has not exchanged hands, I simply will not indulge any kind of dirty talk. Even in terms of describing my service, saying it out loud is pretty awkward, especially when I’m either out and about or sitting in my pyjamas facebooking my Mum. It makes me squirm and is impolite. A simple txt where I can send a template of service details without any awkwardness, encouraging phone sex or without forgetting any details is much nicer and more professional. We are establishing respect and boundaries early on.
I also do not like phone calls because I can be forgetful. Sure, I have to have a diary, but I like having the records of txt exchanges (don't worry, my phone is fingerprint protected). I know what was said this way, and exactly what was agreed to so it removes all confusion for both parties. I’m also able to be more in depth and accurate in things like sending addresses and the like.
Text messages are also a bit more time flexible. A phone call is very demanding - it rings and must be answered then and there. Text messages don’t need to be replied to instantly. While I think I’m pretty good with my response time, sometimes it simply isn’t convenient to drop everything and talk to a client. Sometimes I’m busy in my personal life and don’t want to be snapped back to ‘work mode’ by a call, or I'm in a booking and I don't take my phone into bookings as I like my dates to be undisturbed. I check my messages when I’m in the headspace to do so and happy to engage thoughtfully.
Which brings me to another point. I’m probably a nicer person in txt. Text messaging allows me the time to cooly think about my responses instead of my initial instinct sometimes which is probably much less polite when a client is rude. It’s not that I can’t be curt when I think clients aren’t showing me respect in a txt, but it’s definitely a more censored version of what might be on the tip of my tongue should someone be rude on the phone, or how short I might get if I was interrupted from doing something else or I have a mouthful of food. There isn't a lot you can pick up from my voice over the phone other than it's kinda yuck (in my opinion haha). My voice is sort of deep and my accent is a bit mixed, so there you go - now you know and you don't need to hear it.
And importantly, I think texts and emails tell me more about someone. I have heard people say 'but don't you want to hear that I'm genuine?' but yet, I learn so much more from the way someone articulates themselves in writing than how they speak. Spelling, grammar, sentence structure… they tell me so much more than tone of voice. There’s a degree of effort required in writing a text or email that a phone call just doesn’t have. The ease and speed of calls makes people lazy. I also think a voice can be wrongly misconstrued if someone is nervous - and I think those with nerves also would prefer to sit down and take the time to carve out their enquiry rather than stumbling their words or hurriedly trying to get the contact over with. My voice may also be misconstrued if I’m multi-tasking or unable to give my 100% attention to someone over the phone. I can multi-task text like a pro however, I guess I'm a product of my generation in that regard lol.
Another thing I love about being firm with my contact method, is that having these specific instructions for contact such as ‘text only’ is a test in itself that helps me screen out time wasters. I have a call blocking app on my phone, which then automatically sends a text asking them to text as advertised. It never turns into a booking though, because if they didn’t read my ad to know to txt in the first place, they were never really a genuine enquiry to begin with. Either that or they did read it and purposely ignored it, which is worse and the kind of shitty behaviour that I do not want to invite into my house.
When I receive a text message as requested, or sometimes an email, that has a degree of effort involved such as a brief introduction, uses my name (rather than 'babe' etc) and an outline of where, when and what he is looking for, I know straight away that he is genuinely interested in my business and respects me and what I do. What a wonderful way to begin such a personal encounter. Mutual respect and understanding is the basic foundations of sex work being a healthy and enjoyable industry for all parties. It begins here, in a text, in an email, well before it ever begins in bed.