escort diary of Aaliyah Dell'aqua

So you think you can get with a Sex Worker for free?

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Sit down, i have news for you. If you're trying to date or hook up with someone you know from their work in escorting or any other avenue of the Adult Industry, without financial reward, your chances are close to zero. This is the truth even if we favourite your adoring comments on Twitter.

It may come as a shock to hear this. You may feel like sexual attraction is only part of the connection you have with the worker, and that paying would deny the authenticity of that. Or maybe you think that you are a really good looking person and only creepy or unattractive people pay. You know that sex workers are down with decriminalization. There are many reasons why you may feel exceptional.

You are operating under a basic misunderstanding of who we are and what we are doing. Which is this:

i. Portraying an inviting version of ourselves, one with genuine elements but oriented to be pleasing as possible.
ii. Because we are making a living to chase our dreams and goals.

I am not writing this to make you feel foolish. I am writing this because in the past week i've mad multiple experiences of people approaching me in person, contacting me on the phone and hitting me up on social media trying to have unpaid sex with me and or rinse my time for free. It's is hard to turn people down, because as both an escort and a caring and genuine person, i am not wishing to get a reputation as a "mean person". When i do turn people down directly, they don't listen or they are patronizing as heck.
This internet blog post, telling you all how i (and tons of other workers) feel is all i can do in the hope to get the message across.

I feel devalued and strung along. When people contact me by way of my ad or social media, i assume they are interested in seeing me as an escort. I'm excited and open in response. I like my job. I enjoy meeting new people, and most importantly, i like making money so that i won't have a HECS debt or other financial burdens.
When i see you asking for "more pictures" or trying to call me (my phone is text only), to likely jerk off, i go through an emotional arc from excitement to confusion and then rage. This is not a good start.

While some people may be deluded into thinking that paying for sex is shameful, there is no shame in being a respectful client who's concise in their communication, respects boundaries and provides my requested rate without trying to bargain. A real experience of shame for me is being played - not just having my precious time wasted, but having my emotional energy exhorted from me under false pretenses.

If you are interested in developing a deeper connection with me, see me as a client and check your expectations. I have clients whose relationships with me has evolved into more of a friendship, but you bet i am always rewarded without question. They have become friends i value, because they have never tried to see me for free, they saw me multiple times, they did not try to fast forward to romance against my wishes, so i have been able to relax and share some of my inner personality with them. Our relationships are satisfying to us both. Because despite the fact that money changes hands, there's a connection between our personalities.

If you don't have the money to see me, I understand this may be disappointing to you. However, return to point number i. I am not who you may think i am. If i am not getting the money, then there's no honey nor will i tell you a few funny, selected stories about my life. I will be a complete person with emotions and feelings that are sometimes in conflict with your own. There will be alot of management around being intimate with you.

I will NOT be the one dimensional image that you create when you jerk off.

Just so that we're clear, here's some dos and don'ts for engaging with your sex worker crush:

DON'T EVER approach a sex worker in public, especially if they're with other people at the time. You might be just trying to say Hi, but at best, i am just trying to get my groceries or chill out at a bar and now all of a sudden i need to feel like i am "on". At worst, i am with someone i don't want to disclose the ins and outs of my life with and you have just messed that up. Don't do it, it is scary and will not get you laid.

DON'T EVER contact my work phone for any other reason than to set up an appointment, Would you call a therapist to ask them out because you like the way they look? NO. So don't do that to me. If you're one of those people that gets off on power play, knowing you'll never see the worker - go jump. If you think i am just sitting around in my lingerie horny as heck all day, waiting to chat - i am not. I am out and about, trying to get things done, study and live my life. I won't be horny until the envelope is in my hands.

DO respect sex workers. Respect our occupation. Respect that the experience that we provide to people are the product of hard work for which we deserve to be compensated in the way we ask. Recognize that the hot babe that you see drooling on the screen for you, also has a life and is not just masturbating frantically for no reason. If you want our attention, you must make it worth our while. No, that does not mean going down on me fore hours and being my personal servant.

For many, the lure of the sex industry lies in the prospect of having a fantasy realised. However, adults with critical thinking abilities realise they are not entitled to treat other people like characters in a dream sequence.
Wake up and pay us!

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