This body tells a story; it has its own narrative, distinct from the thoughts that flow through my mind. It finds its own way, journeys separate to the me I am conscious of, and sets its own pace. No panic or stress for this body: it is steady, firm, unwavering.
This body is not perfect, but i see it perfectly. It doesn’t bounce so much as thud, but its motion comes with focus and clarity.
This body is not unblemished: there are some scars, beauty spots and marks in too many places to mention. This body hasn’t seen childbirth, so i know that i must be thankful for the imperfections that i do not have, rather than any i may.
This body has felt exhaustion and many pulled muscled etc from gym but the scars from that don’t show on the outside. It’s also had consensual lustful fingers and mouths explore and caress it, but the secrets within were only shared with those whom I call my Lovers - new and existing,
This body has been operated on, prodded by doctors, explored with medical equipment, and treated with pharmaceuticals, and it’s still not entirely healthy, but then it has kept me alive thus far: it can’t be doing too bad!
This body has had injuries, pain that endures in the background on a good day, and needed to be questioned: am I pushing too hard? I trust this body will have the answer; it makes its own decisions, choices I have to follow, whether I want to or not, i ALWAYS listen to my body. It is vital that everyone does.
This body is something I have felt shame over. Much of my life was spent not appreciating how I looked and the blessings that i have, wishing I could change my physique - especially when the curved started to appear, and not wanting to view my own reflection in the mirror. I have felt unattractive, and this includes to the people I was intimate with. Though intellectually I have always known, that other people’s validation of my appearance shouldn’t matter, it still did. Nowadays it is only a concern if it matters to ME.
This body is something that i willingly displayed on stage; wearing revealing ensembles and performing helped me to accept the skin i am in, embrace my curves and love every edge. While learning to fully embrace femininity,
This body is not, in today’s valuation of beauty - Internet-perfect. I am not tanned with ripped abs. However, decades ago, my physique was the most lusted after in the world, so i find comfort knowing i am a "Classic Beauty", a type that is not so common in this era.
There is a “strong eyebrow game”, and “flawless” smoothness of skin due to youth, a strict skincare routine and always fancy “eye-liner on fleek”. This body is not entirely firm; this is no Instagram fave-worthy photo, filtered and cropped for the best light, best pose, most attractive view. This body is me, moments after finishing a workout this body is drenched in sweat, this face is red, hair is imperfect and pulled back in an unglamorous, but practical bun. This out-of-breath body is me. Those tired legs are mine. That wet sheen all over me I earned - with this body. This body doesn’t look attractive to everyone, but I'd rather be a discerning lovers shot of Whiskey than everyone's cup of tea in the *heart eyes emoji* sense.
This body is strong. This body got me through 4km of running today and afterwards it thanked me for pushing it, even though it was chilly outside and mentally I was ready to quit after five minutes. This body powers me, so i must fuel it well. This body allows me thinking time, a space where I can just hear my heart beating and I know: this is it, I am glad to be alive *right now*. This body lets me push it through injury and sickness and it still continues on, making me grateful every day that I have two working legs I can run on and two powerful arms to lift with. This body has shown me that confidence isn’t about being seen as sexy to everyone, but in feeling strong; and there is nothing sexier to me than strength and confidence. This body isn’t indestructible, but every day I use it, I feel better about who I am and have learned to pick at my image much less.
I think I may finally love my body. I think I may finally love me.